First of all, a relationship is never toxic, people are. A relationship is a way in which two or more people are connected. It is a genuine thing. Therefore, I do not swear by the word, Toxic relationship.
However, people, the way they act, and the characteristic of putting the other person always at fault are toxic. Ironically, when the term ‘toxic’ is involved, ‘ love’ can never be involved. Therefore, it can comfortably be said that where there is a lack of love or even say when there is no love, a relationship is termed as toxic.
Moreover, it is even good to term a relationship as a ‘relationship’ when there is no love? A relationship without love is not a relationship. Well, this is what I meant when I stated that relationship is never toxic, people are.
Now, since we are talking about the signs of being in a harmful relationship, let’s get into the topic.
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
You have forgotten to take care of yourself:
I have kept this in number one because I believe this is one of the most important things, whether or not you are in a relationship. To take care of yourself is the beginning and the basis of self-love. You know, they say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. The truest words you can ever hear. When you love and take care of yourself, only then you can take care and love others.
Now, when you forget to take care of yourself when you are a relationship, then something is wrong in your affiliation. A relationship is when two people grow together and help each other in everything life has to offer. Now, the same relationship becomes toxic when one loves and cares about the other more. Chances may be that one is constantly doing the needful and the other is just taking it for granted.
The foremost thing that needs to be taken into consideration when you feel like there is something off in your relationship.
You have forgotten your goals and your plans for your life.
Every ambitious person has goals in his or her life. They have plans and ways to implement them. Nothing and literally nothing can stop them from achieving their objectives.
However, when you get into a relationship and eventually you learn that you have lost the focus of your intentions, then this is something you should be worried about. Maybe the relationship you are in is not healthy.
The reason could be that your partner is not concerned about your aim in life. They are always involved in their own world and as a matter of fact, are reluctant to yours.
A relationship should develop both the individuals to their best of themselves. The case otherwise can be termed as toxic.
Nothing makes you happy.
Since the very beginning of your relationship, you have always been sad. Just for some reason, nothing makes you happy. Maybe you do a lot of work and are not happy with your personal life. Your relationship has a lot of problems with no clarifications. Furthermore, you and your partner just don’t vibe.
Relationship means that you as a couple should be happy collectively and severally. When you are not happy individually, then you can never be happy together. You never being happy could mean that you do not get along with your partner. The reason can be anything, however, if you are not delighted in your relation, then the association is not worth it.
Your partner is never happy with you.
Just like you can never be happy in your relationship, in like manner, your partner is never happy with you. You have constant issues and are always having discussions that are never healthy.
Despite anything, you do everything you can to make your relationship work, but it goes in vain. Your companion always has an issue to make. Furthermore, how small the issue, they always take a huge portion of your time and happiness.
The relationship is just not fulfilling. And one more thing, when you have to try so much to be happy when in a relationship, is it really worth keeping?
There is no love and you can feel it.
I personally believe that there is no such thing as a little love. Either it’s all or none. Love is such a precious thing that when it is there, it is just abundant. Especially, the love we are talking about in this article is the love that you share with your other half. This kind of love is the love claiming to be of two bodies and one soul. How exquisite is that!
Now, imagine when such a lovely relationship has no love in it, how does it even feel? I can literally feel the vagueness and the sad feel that comes with it. When there is no love in a relationship, then it is just two individuals trying to fit in. And let me tell you, it is so difficult to compromise when there is no love present. It is absolutely difficult and a couple will have a hard time dealing with one another in the case.
Again, another scenario could be that one person is madly in love while the other is not. In this case, one suffers a lot and another just cannot help it. Moreover, there is a load of sacrifices and commitments but from one side only.
However, in both the case, the relationship is termed as toxic. The reason being, the one who is loving and the one who is loved, both are never happy.
A couple is just physically present. You both just don’t vibe mentally.
The couple just doesn’t connect. Each is physically present, but, mentally and emotionally they cannot suffice your needs. Your words do not match and your souls do not understand your language. It is sad to see couples unhappy in such connections.
The chance could be that either one is available and the other is not, or both are not available for each other. Either way, you as a couple lose and your relationship just does not work.
The above-quoted signs are those that occur at the starting of the toxic relationship. There are cases that lead to more severe consequences. Especially when the above-mentioned signs take a larger part of your life, then these kinds of gestures and hints appear. Such as,
They say trust is the basis of every relationship in the world. Where there is no trust, there is literally no reason to continue. The foundation has to be strong to take the lows and highs of the relationship.
So, trust issues are seen eventually in an unhealthy relationship. When a person just doesn’t place confidence in his or her partner, then there is always a place of doubt resulting in several disturbances every day. The environment becomes very delicate and your association eventually does in a decline. Sooner or later you get fed up with every day’s disturbance and you just let it be.
Lack of Communication.
To be very precise, communication is the key. Be it anything, any issue, or any confusion, you communicate openly and it resolves. And also, most arguments and concerns happen due to lack of communication or say miscommunication.
Lack of communication leads to problems that were not even present in the first place. If your partner does not show a willingness to make a talk about something that is bothering you, then it means that he or she is definitely not interested. Your partner does not care about your well being and does nothing to make you at peace.
Inadequacy of conversation could be, not replying to your phone calls, or texts and also not responding while you talk. You could cry while trying to talk and they are not bothered.
Lack of Understanding.
Understanding means that you try to learn the other person’s perspective by trying to be in their shoes. Know why they say something and determine to unearth from their perspective. Apparently it all means that you just love the person so much that you try to understand their words even if it does not match with yours.
Lack of understanding simply implies that you are not ready to let go of your ego. Of course, this means that your ego is above the love you have for them. Can you ever be happy in a relationship where your words are never understood and it always goes in vain?
Receiving harassing messages from your partner.
Whenever you are out from your home, be it for your work or anything else, you receive texts that are so intimidating that your mood goes off. The messages saying that you always hurt them and that they are never happy. It is just that nothing makes them happy and if they are unhappy they pour it on you through messages.
Your partner might be so upset with you that they might fear that you might be happy without them and that leaves them drained. You can have a feeling that, if you are unhappy, they cannot be happy. Therefore, they send you texts that leave you feeling exhausted.
Receiving texts constantly when apart.
Receiving harassing messages is one thing, another thing is that you receive texts constantly. Moreover, you need to give a reply immediately. Otherwise, it will deteriorate their mood more fiercely.
They send you texts because it somehow depicts that what you wanted to say has been put into words. I believe this happens because there is no proper communication while a couple is together.
Receiving constant messages while at work or anything else that you are doing, it disturbs you a lot. And this is how your personal relationship wears out your social and professional life.
Checking time frequently and the whereabouts.
When your partner is out and about, it panics you. Maybe because you do not trust them or it could be because you yourself are so disturbed that you cannot function peacefully. You always want to know what your partner is up to.
You have an urge to call your person constantly and even by doing so, it does not give you your peace of mind. This is sad but relationship leaving you in such a state is just exhausting to learn.
Wanting to constantly learn where your partner is, who they are with, or say what they are talking or discussing about is actually a sign of toxic relationship.
Humiliating, belittling, and abusive language.
One of the worst things a person can say to another is abusive languages. Now, imagine what happens when you use such words to the person you regard as your lover or say your life partner. Using abusive words is a fair sign of disrespect and disrespecting your partner is something that is never acceptable.
Humiliating, making the other person feel worthless is highly toxic. Your soulmate is supposed to make you feel good about yourself, they should respect you and love you so much much that you never question your worth. When something other than this happens, you have to check on your connection and the person you are connected with.
A relationship should make you feel special and loved, it should not make you emotionally and physically depleted.
Avoids being seen in public with you.
When in closed walls everything seems to be good, but once you step out of your room, your partner is changed. The love has vanished and you are a stranger to them. Bizzare right?
The person just does not want to be seen with you in public. The reasons could be that they do not consider you worth it or maybe because they have more people like you in their lives.
Partner is so possessive that you have to seek their permission to do stuff.
They say a person is only possessive when they know that you deserve a better person. Well, sounds good if you look through a positive aspect. However, it also means that the person is not giving you their best of themselves. Say the love, care, and the support that you deserve.
Just knowing that your partner deserves everything in life is not enough, you have to work for them and get them everything they are entitled to.
Coming back to the topic, being too possessive that it affects your person is never healthy. Having no freedom and the need to constantly seek consent from your partner is a sign of a toxic relationship.
No personal bank accounts and has no permission to do it.
Financial independence is literally everything. When you are financially independent, nothing really scares you. You know that you can take care of yourself and that gives you confidence on a different level.
However, when you are restricted from being financially independent, then you should definitely be worried about it. This could mean that your partner does not want you to be independent. They wish to see you always depend on them and this makes them content.
Never continue being in such an association that you have to let go of your liberty.
No decision-making authority.
You do not have the authority to make decisions. Be it of any kind, small or big, your partner never seeks your validation. Let’s say that your voice and your opinion does not matter.
You are just there to cook their food and take care of them. Just say, you better have a maid for yourself and leave.