Introverted people can find many things daunting. That list might include public speaking, particularly having to make a presentation in the office, or worse still, a speech before the assembled guests at a wedding. Many shy individuals are drawn to joining a date site because attempting to reach out to potential partners is another area where nerves can conspire to undermine confidence. The Internet has had a profound influence on how shy people can meet up, providing a convenient platform for people to interact with likeminded individuals, getting to know them in chat rooms, or by sending direct messages. While communicating with other singles at the other end of an Internet connection might seem less daunting, actually meeting up can produce the same sense of anxiety. To counter this, here are five top tips that were compiled by the dating experts from this website that will improve your chances of relaxing during your date.
Be mindful of the venue
If you’re shy or awkward when it comes to connecting, the last place you’ll want to go for a date is a busy Saturday night club. In terms of building a rapport, a much better option would be to find a secluded corner in a low-key bar. Any background music should be atmospheric and unintrusive, not the sledgehammer dance beats that often characterize a trendy venue. What about dining out? Would you be more at home in a five-star restaurant, immersed in an atmosphere of stiff formality and expensive dishes, or a no-frills eaterie where you could relax and get to know each other? A valuable pointer is to carefully consider your partner’s likes and dislikes – do they have particular hobbies or interests which might inform the location, such as an interest in sports?
Make pre-date preparations
When you are about to take someone out on a date for the first time, do some preparation. Get into the mood. You don’t want to start fretting about the impression you might or might not make. Instead, relax. Listen to music. Try out different outfits. Give yourself plenty of time so you’re not rushing around at the last minute and getting yourself harassed.
Managing your expectations
When embarking on any new relationship, most people will have a certain agenda, an idea of how they would like to see matters progress. This is a cornerstone of dating because it allows singles to plan for the type of person they’d like to interact with. When someone is an introvert, they will have a blinkered outlook and will be unable to view things so objectively. In many instances, they will feel worthless and will simply view dating as a hurdle far too daunting for them to get over.
Admit you feel uncomfortable
Don’t bottle up the fact you’re introverted, and certainly don’t try and over-compensate by attempting to force the conversation. You don’t want to start blurting out whatever happens to cross your mind. Explain to your date that you’re feeling nervous and reserved. Instantly they’ll feel a sense of empathy, and if they happen to be harboring any similar emotions, this will bring you closer together.
Avoid Dutch courage
It can be very tempting to try and mask your shyness by relying on alcohol or some other recreational drug to keep these natural sensations suppressed. There are all sorts of problems with that approach. In the first instance, it’s difficult to judge the amounts or strengths of certain drinks. How your body reacts can depend on how tired you are, and whether or not you’ve had much to eat. You might consider getting a little tipsy will assist your socializing. But you can very easily overdo it and turn up drunk for your date. If you’re not in control, you will not give a good impression at all.
Don’t remain a spectator
Introverted individuals have a natural inclination to sit back and let the other person do all the work, nodding at appropriate points in the conversation, never really making the effort to reveal too much of themselves. In short, they often tend to play it safe, never straying too far out of their comfort zone. But here’s a tip for an introvert – you’ll get so much more from your dating experience if you try and be a little more proactive. When there’s a lull in the chat, don’t just assume the ‘extrovert’ is going to pick up where you left off. Try stepping up to the plate and instigating the discussions. The more you push yourself, the greater your confidence will grow.
