Ladies, I am sure many of you have had that man in your life who just could not commit to you. No matter what you said or did, he just seems to drag his feet. Yes, sometimes it really is hard for men to commit to a relationship and I am sure that leaves many women wondering why.
Was it you? Was it him? Did you smother him? Were you bossy? Did you nag too much?
What was the reason behind his inability to commit? Men claim that women are the ones who are complicated and unpredictable but in reality, men can be just as complicated and unpredictable as women. The truth is that there could be a number of reasons why men can’t or won’t commit to a long term relationship. Sometimes it’s the woman and sometimes it’s the man.
Why? I am confident in saying that every woman has asked themselves this question at some point in their life. Why won’t he commit? Why can’t I find the man for me? Why is finding love so hard? These are very common questions and many women feel that there are no answers or they are not satisfied with the answers they have heard. I have heard many women claim that men are just “mean” or “jerks” and that is why they will not commit. In reality, there are many reasons why men do not commit that women cannot see or realize.
Men are scared. I have known many women who feel that men have no fear in relationships by putting themselves out there. It is very common for women to assume that men are not intimidated by women or scared about getting their heart broken. These assumptions are false.
Men do have feelings and many men are afraid of getting hurt, even though they may act fearless. Every heart is fragile; both men and women’s. If a man feels that he has a chance of being significantly hurt in the relationship, it can drive him to leave because of the fear he feels. It can cause him to hold back from commitment. Men tend to avoid talking about their feelings and this is the reason behind the assumptions that they have no feelings. Men do get scared and thus should be treated with love and affection.
Clingy. Women can sometimes get a bad reputation for being needy and/or clingy. This is a very common reason why men will not commit to you. From my personal experience, being needy in a relationship only brings pain and heartache. I have been very clingy and needy in my past relationships which drove a wedge in between my partner and I. I felt the need to be with him at all times and wanted him to feel the same way. He didn’t. In healthy relationships, you cannot expect to be attached by the hip at all times. By you acting on the feeling of needing to be with your man at all times, it may slowly drive him away.
Most men desire and need time with their friends without you. Guys want to have a social life and a once-in-a-while a boy’s night. If he feels that you will be upset if he goes out with his friends, he will feel bad all night long. He will not be able to enjoy himself and this can make him rethink his relationship status. Let your man have time with his beloved friends!
Be mysterious. It is important for a relationship to have some mystery to keep the element of surprise present. If you are too predictable, your man can get bored easily. If he knows every word you are going to say before you say it or know every action you are going to take before you take it, you could be too predictable. Remember that men love to be surprised by you and being mysterious can keep him to stay intrigued.
Be a woman. In society today, men and women are mainly considered equal. Women can do anything men can do, right? Wrong. Women need to be women. If you are too competitive or too masculine, men can lose interest fast. Men typically want a woman who is loving, caring, and feminine. The last thing a man wants in a relationship is to feel like he is dating another man. You must remember your feminine roots and channel your feminine energies to help and guide you to be a woman.
It is important to take good care of yourself, as well. Men want a woman who cares about herself and can show it. This can be opposite of clinginess and neediness. If you show your man that you are capable of taking care of yourself, it can show him that you are ready for a long term commitment and not only looking for love as something fun for the moment.
Communication. If you feel that your man is not committing or does not seem interested in making a long term commitment, communicate with him about it. If you have questions, ask him. It is important to make sure you are both on the same page before diving in to any kind of relationship. Let him know that you are looking for a long term partner and are interested in committing to him. Give him a chance to communicate with you about his goals as well. The worst that can happen is he does not tell you what you want to hear and that simply means he is not the one for you. Communication can go a long way with your partner and I would highly recommend it.
Some men are simply late bloomers. They want to commit, but they are not ready quite as quickly as women. They really take the whole shebang into consideration before thinking about tying the knot or making a long-term commitment. Try not to rush your man. Enjoy each day as it comes and let things progress nicely. If you get so caught up in committal issues, you might not be able to enjoy the relationship right now and that won’t do anyone any good.