Breakups are hard! An end to any type of long term relationship is painful. Eventually you will be ready to date again but the longer you have been out of the dating scene the harder it is to get back into the game. Things have probably changed since the last time you were single. So how do you know when the time if right to begin dating again and how exactly do you go about it?
1. Leave the ex behind. If you cannot go one meal without talking about your ex then you are not ready to begin dating. You are not prime dating material if you continually carry around the baggage of your past relationships. What if you think you are over them but aren’t sure if you are carrying excess relationship baggage? Check out How To Free Yourself From Emotional Baggage After a Breakup. You may find it every eye opening.
2. Aahh, you are finally getting over the relationship and can actually see a future with someone else. Start letting people know. Telling family and friends that you are happy and healthy and ready to move on is the first step. Who knows, they may even know a nice guy or girl that they would like to introduce you to.
3. Are you cyber stalking your ex? Do you check his/her Facebook status regularly? If you are still curious about what they are doing on a daily basis, who they are seeing or if they are in a new relationship or not…then you probably aren’t ready to date yet. Part of a breakup is not only being ok and moving on but being ok with your ex moving on as well. After all, you are no longer a couple. It is to be expected that you each will go your separate ways. By continuing to stay connected to them via social media, you are derailing your own healing process.
4. If you have started to wonder who else might be out there then you are ready to start dating again. There is no need to immediately start “interviewing” new potential boyfriends or girlfriends. Try to let things happen naturally. Do all the things you normally do such as go to work, hit the gym, head out to your favorite coffee shop…whatever it is you used to love to do …go do it! Chances are you will meet someone when you aren’t even looking.
5. A new serious relationship is not really want you want right now however you are ready to start having some fun again. Seeking companionship and casual relationships with the intent to keep them casual is perfectly OK. Many people enjoy sowing a few wild oats before they are ready to settle down again. Online sites such as Swinger Nation Ireland are one way to meet people for more casual encounters. Part of the healing process is to stop moping around thinking about your ex, stop beating yourself over the breakup and move on.
6. You’re ready for the “high” feeling you get from a new relationship. The honeymoon phase of any relationship is euphoric. Being in a new relationship and getting to know someone is exciting and exhilarating. Do you get that giddy feeling when you think about dating again? If so, it is a sure sign that you are ready.
7. You have learned your lesson. After your breakup you most likely spent some time in reflection over what when wrong and how things could have been differently. While this stage of a breakup is hard it is also very healthy and allows you to move on in a more positive way. You now know why you want to start dating again and what you are looking for. It may be that you are looking for another long term relationship, a casual relationship or just simple meet new friends. If so, then you are entering the dating pool for all the right reason. However, if you want to begin dating again in order to hurt your ex, get back at them for something, show them that others desire you or simply because you are lonely then you are dating for all the wrong reasons.
8. Do you know one of the biggest and surest signs that will tell you if you are ready to begin dating or not? It is that you are finally happy being alone. You have come to terms with being single, you are enjoying activities with friends and family, you have started to really focus on your own needs and you will be ok if you meet someone or if you don’t. This type of confidence is very healthy and plays a key role in moving forward into a new relationship.
9. You are strong. You are stable. You are healthy. Once you are all of these things and begin to make yourself emotionally available to others then you are really ready to check out the dating scene. One main thing to remember is to stay true to you! If you do not enjoy the bar scene, do not hang out in bars in order to meet people. Chances are that anyone you meet there will actually like hanging out a bars which means you may be incompatible from the start. Do the things you enjoy doing so that when you meet someone doing that same activity you can rest assured that the relationship is starting out with at least one thing in common.
Remember, there is no schedule on how long it will take to heal after a breakup and when to enter the dating scene is a very personal decision. Your best friend may have been dating 3 months after a breakup but that doesn’t mean that you will be the same way. Listen to your heart; it will tell you when you are ready and it will never steer you wrong.