A few days back, I wrote an article about the most shocking recent celebrity breakupsbut then I got to thinking. What about all of those celebrity breakups everyone sees coming from a mile away? What about the breakups in which the only shock is that it took as long as it did to happen? This list is about those breakups.
10: Brad Womack and Emily Maynard (or any Bachelor/erette couples)
I don’t really understand the appeal of shows like The Bachelor. I like a lot of reality competition shows and the payoff at the end isn’t always what it’s promised, but it seems to me that The Bachelor and its spin off The Bachelorettehas a pretty bad track record when it comes to producing relationships that actually work out. I can’t imagine it’s easy to find real love in front of millions of Americans but that alone tells you this show is just a bad idea. All the same, I really hoped for the best for Brad and Emily. She seems like such a lovely girl. Ah well, maybe next time.
09: Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler
Okay, I confess. This one caught me by surprise a little bit but that mainly has to do with the fact that I’m not generally very familiar with Kristin Cavallari. I’m sure that’s about to change as I’m a devoted Dancing with the Starsfan and she’s one of the celebrities on the upcoming season. With that said, no one other than me seemed to really be all that taken aback by the split which was supposed to end in a wedding not a breakup. I’m not sure if I really ever saw the wedding happening. It seemed to me to be an engaged to be engaged sort of situations. Perhaps that’s what it was.
08: Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift
I was so sad when these two hooked up because I knew it wouldn’t last and they were so cute together I really, really wanted it to. I’m not sure whatcould’ve possessed me to think Jake and Taylor wouldn’t last but I know I wasn’t alone in thinking that. Perhaps it was the age difference. Perhaps it was the fact that Taylor has a history of dating and breaking up with some of the most desired single men in the entertainment industry. The only thing left to wonder is whether or not this split will inspire a brand new break up tune on Taylor’s next album.
07: Jennifer Love Hewitt and… Anyone She’s Dated
I do not understand how Jennifer Love Hewitt has such bad luck with men. She’s gorgeous. She’s funny and she seems like a fairly confident, fun loving and generally awesome person. Yet somehow, every time she starts dating someone, the countdown to the next JLH breakup begins. She even wrote a book about her crappy love life (The Day I Shot Cupid) which tells you she, if nothing else, has a sense of humor about the whole thing. Will she find real love someday? Yes, I’m certain of it. I just doubt anyone will believe it when it happens.
06: Paris Hilton and Cy Waits
Like Jennifer Love Hewitt, a Paris Hilton breakup is rarely all that shocking but that was even more true with Cy Waits than most of her other men. Cy seemed like a pretty grounded guy – at least when compared with some of the other men she’s gotten involved with. To some, it was surprising as Cy was there to defend Paris from intruders and stalkers. To others, it was obvious there was only so much drama the guy could take before he split. I image he started thinking about heading for the door right around the time one of Paris’ obsessed fans attacked him.
05: Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony
Jennifer and Marc earn the distinction of being the only couple on both my most shocking celebrity break ups list and my least shocking celebrity break ups list. A lot of people seemed genuinely shocked when the split was announced, but not anyone that pays any sort of attention to celebrity gossip. There were rumors of an impending breakup for months, if not years, before it was actually announced. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. It’s cliché but it’s true. The only thing shocking about this split was that it took so long to happen.
04: Jesse James and Kat Von D
I wanted to be shocked about this one as Jesse and Kat really seemed to be a good match but there was one important difference between the two of them – Kat seems like a pretty cool girl and Jesse is a complete douchebag. Kat seemed pretty upset about the whole thing, walking out of an interview after someone merely mentioned the breakup and while I can understand why she would be hurting, I don’t think she should be. Kat was way, way, way too good for Jesse just as Sandra Bullock was way, way, waytoo good for Jesse. You know who that pig needs to hook up with? Bombshell McGee. They seem like a match made in dirt bag heaven.
03: George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis
How could anyone be surprised by George Clooney breaking up with anyone? The guy is never going to settle down. While it looked like Elisabetta might be the one for a while, it has looked that way for so many other ladies in the past. George has said he’ll never get married. Maybe there just aren’t many women willing to settle for eternal girlfriend status. Or maybe he’s just a playboy that doesn’t like being tied down. Either way, it won’t be long before George moves on from his current rumored squeeze, Stacy Kiebler, to another beautiful woman – likely a brunette – and then the cycle starts again. But hey, who can really hate on George for being himself? It’s not like the women don’t get anything out of the deal with most of his former flames have gone on to become somewhat famous in their own right. Plus, you know, they get to date George Clooney.
02: Leonardo DiCaprio and Bar Refaeli
Anyone that was surprised to learn Leo and Bar went their separate ways didn’t know much about that relationship to begin with. They were on and off more than a light switch or Paris Hilton’s panties. Although Leo has moved on with actress, Blake Lively, I’m not entirely convinced Leo and Bar are done for good. Who knows, maybe these two crazy kids will get back together one day and live happily ever after. I’m not holding my breath for that one though.
01: Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris
Really? People were shocked by this one. Come on. I feel a little bad for Hef coming out of this one because I genuinely think he cared about the girl and she’s done nothing but trash talk him. Sure he’s a dirty old perv and whatnot but it’s not like she wasn’t aware of that going into the whole deal. He’s Hugh freakin’ Hefner. The most shocking thing about this split in my opinion was that she actually backed out before they exchanged vows and didn’t marry him, divorce him and take whatever she could get.
Who were you surprised to see break up? Were any of these splits completely out of the blue in your opinion? Let me know by commenting below this article or send me a message on Twitter. Check in later this week for the final article in my celebrity split series; “Celebrities Who Will Break Up Next: My Predictions”.