There are countless articles on how to cure your boyfriend of gaming addiction, on ways of distracting him and keeping him away from his computer. But many fail to see that at times, it’s not an addiction at all; just a hobby that we girls cannot relate to. Here’s how you can tell if you’re dealing with an actual addiction or just a passion of his that can actually work in your favor.
How to spot video game addiction
Before trying to cure your boyfriend of something you think might be an addiction, make sure it is just that. Video game addiction is defined as an excessive use of either computer or video games, which ends up interfering with one’s personal life. Among the distinctive features, compulsive gamers show mood swings, social isolation, decreasing levels of imagination and their in-game hyper-focus makes them less attentive to what’s going on in their real life. And while you’ll be tempted to say that all these apply to your boyfriend’s situation, here are some aspects of this addiction pointed out by Doctor Han Doug-hyun—a specialist from Seoul, South Korea, a country that is considered to be the worldwide leader when it comes to gaming addiction.
He says that an addict can be easily identified if:
– he’d rather play all night, then sleep throughout the day, messing up his entire life pattern;
– he quits his job or stops going to school altogether so he can stay home and play;
– he steadily increases his gaming hours (because he needs his fix and the regular amount he’d normally dedicate to gaming is no longer enough for him);
– he seems to be going through withdrawal when not having access to a computer.
However, if these do not apply, you might simply have to admit that he does not have a problem, he has a hobby. And believe it or not, this could work in your favor!
Why having a gamer boyfriend is great
More often than not, girls are more socially active than boys; and when the boy is also a devoted gamer, he has his own group of friends, even if he might have never met them face to face. But that type of relationships is not as different from regular ones as you might think. Online gamer friendships are based on common interests, shared passions, and a great deal of communication. The only thing that’s different is the platform; the discussions don’t take place over coffee, at one of their houses or in a bar; they take place in the comfort of their homes, in front of their computers. Nothing wrong about that, is there?
Just because his friends are online doesn’t mean he’ll be losing his social skills or that he will later find it difficult to adapt to face-to-face contact; it simply means that the people who share his passion are online too (and easier to find and contact). You wouldn’t like it if he’d go around asking all of your male friends if they play Counter Strike any chance he gets, would you? You’d hate it even more if they’d actually answer ‘yes’ and then they’d go on and talk about Counter Strike for hours, trust me. So why not simply be grateful for the fact that he keeps this aspect of his life to himself and doesn’t drag you into it. It rarely happens that girls end up enjoying it.
Make the most out of it
It is easier to get frustrated than to embrace the positive aspects that come with a gamer boyfriend; but as you probably already know the negative aspects of having a gamer as a boyfriend, let’s take a look at the benefits (and there are quite a few):
– he’d rather stay home and play on the computer rather than going out drinking; well, for all the jealous ladies out there, this is a God-sent! You don’t have to worry that he’ll be home late and drunk, and wonder if he met someone and cheated on you. When you call him up at 3 am Saturday morning, he’ll most likely say that he’s in front of his PC, playing; and he won’t be lying either!
– he’s passionate about something! You’d be surprised to hear how many women complain about their partners not having any type of interests or hobbies. This can be quite annoying and you’re likely to get bored of such a man real easy. Not to mention that these men become clingy way faster than those who have a passion of their own. So take the time to develop your own passions when he’s playing his games; read a good book, go out with your girlfriends, go see a chick flick, make the best out of it!
– gift ideas! Gaming has become quite a prolific industry, so there’s no limit to the amount of gifts you can buy him that are strictly connected to the games he likes. T-shirts with game characters, laptop sleeves, mousepads, the games themselves and so on. It will definitely solve that eternal problem of ‘what to get him for Christmas’.
– you’ll always have a computer technician at your disposal! Laugh if you will, but he might come in handy quite often; when you have to reinstall your Windows, to clean your computer, to get rid of those nasty viruses, he’ll actually be flattered you seek his help with all of those. After all, his PC was his baby for so long, he had to learn how to properly take care of it.
– a gamer will most likely be a great dad! I know you might be young and might not be yet thinking this far, but here me out here: they have cool gadgets, they love putting their imagination to work and, well, they love playing! What more can a kid want?
So I know it might not always be easy, but dating a gamer definitely has its benefits. So, instead of fighting to get rid of this side of him, why not embrace it and make the best out of it?