Many people in the world believe that they are destined to be with someone. They thrive on the dating scene, falling in love with someone, and then hopefully eventually get married. Building your own family is a dream for most of us. It’s a beautiful picture of you, your spouse and your kids. But every family are faced with their own challenges in life. What happens if your family is faced with fertility issues?
Infertility is a general term used to describe a disorder or disease that causes problems with the reproductive system and leads to an inability to get pregnant. In the US, this condition affects 10-15 percent of couples in the country. If you are a couple struggling to conceive a baby for at least a year, you are considered to have infertility issues.
This problem doesn’t just affect women, men are found to be responsible for 30 percent of infertility cases. This research isn’t regional, it stands true globally. If you are in this situation, there are things that you must do if you want to survive as a couple.
Research, Research, Research
Start by doing some research and discussing what you’ve found as a couple. There are many things that can cause infertility. In females, it can be trouble with her uterus or her eggs. In men, low production or quality of sperm is typically the culprit. Either way, it is important for both of you to understand what the causes can be and possible ways to overcome them. This is also important for you to see that you aren’t alone.
In your research, you also find support groups and forums. Join them as a couple. This will allow you to share your feelings and hear the experiences that others are facing.
This is a sensitive topic that needs to be discussed as it involves your family and future. Let him know that it isn’t his fault and that he is not alone. Even though you learned that during your research, he will need to be regularly reminded. Encourage him to have a normal routine, not to stress, and to hang out with his friends as he typically would.
Your spouse’s infertility can and will delay your plans for the future. This issue can take a toll into his confidence as a man and as your husband. Give him enough time to recover and accept what this means. He needs to process it thoroughly and carefully.
This isn’t something that he can process in a day or even a week. It may take a few months for reality to set in. Remember, that’s ok. Don’t expect him to bounce back quickly from that news.
There may be moments where your husband becomes easily irritated, aggravated and angry, it’s because he is emotionally hurt and frustrated. Remember that if his temperament changes, it’s only because he’s hurting. Also, remember that this state of mind he is going through is not your fault or anyone else’s.
Try to put yourself in his shoes. Imagine how painful it would be to know that your body is what is keeping you from having a family.
For now, all you can do is encourage, understand, and be patient.
A Couple’s Decision
From the moment you learn the issue of infertility, you need to make sure any decision, action, and plan are genuinely agreed by both of you. For example, if you want to tell other people in your life about your situation you need to let him know. Better yet, both of you should talk together when letting your family and close friends about the issue. The last thing you want is for him to be caught off guard when someone unexpectedly tries to comfort him.
At some point, you both need to sit down and figure out what your options are. Do you want to keep trying without any help and see what happens? Do you want to work with doctors? No matter what you decide, you need to decide as a couple.
There is Still Hope
Infertility is not a dead end to creating a family. It just means that the path to parenthood will look a little different than you planned. It is a serious health concern and something that needs to be addressed, but there are available solutions. Our medical technology is far more advanced today that can help you create a family. Here are a few options:
- Hormone Treatments
- Fertility Drugs
- IUI (intrauterine insemination)
- IVF (in vitro fertilization)
- GIFT (gamete intrafallopian transfer)
- ZIFT (zygote intrafallopian transfer)
No matter what you decide to do, make the decision as a couple. Be extra patient and understanding with him. This is also the time to look at your finances. When infertility is the cause, having a baby can be expensive. The costs can range from $1200 to over $40,000.