Getting back into the world of dating is an exciting time. While love can often be a whirlwind of emotions, it’s important to learn a few key things about somebody before you are swept off your feet. It’s essential to learn the following four things before you begin dating someone:
1. How They Talk About Their Exes
We all have a history when it comes to our love lives. While some people expect their love interests to have no contact with their exes, this isn’t always the case or completely necessary. Generally, most exes are able to stay in contact with each other as friends without compromising their future relationships.
Determine how your potential love talks about and treats their exes before you decide to get involved. Just as you don’t want someone that is too attached to their ex, it is important that you don’t become involved with someone that always speaks disrespectfully of their exes. Depending on this situation, this sort of behavior can indicate negative personality traits.
2. How They Set Goals
In healthy relationships, both partners feed off of one another and push each other forward. In order for that to happen, both people should have goals that align with the others. When two people want two completely different things from life, it’s hard for them to build a life together in a relationship. While dating is all about making compromises, you need to build a foundation on basic commonalities in the beginning.
3. How Often They are Tested
STD’s can affect anyone. Before you start dating someone or engaging in sexual activity, it’s important to learn more about their sexual history. While you don’t have to ask how many partners they’ve had, it is important to learn how often they are tested. While it is recommended that people get tested every three months, it’s important to learn one’s status after every new partner.
To protect both people, you should make it a point to discuss each other’s status before becoming too involved. If need be, ask them to get tested (and get tested as well), before starting a sexual relationship with them. The more you know, the safer the both of you will be.
4. If They Have a Criminal Record
Even with your best efforts, it can be difficult to discern if your future partner is being as upfront with you as you are with them. While it isn’t likely that most people you encounter will have a lengthy rap sheet, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Whether you ask them whether or not they have a criminal past or you run a background check on them, it’s important to learn if there are any indiscretions in a potential partner’s past.
Though you can only learn certain things by getting to know someone over time, it’s important that you’ve properly vetted your future significant other before you start a relationship. Keep this guide in mind when pursuing your love interests as you start dating again.
5. What Are Their Expectations
Before committing yourself fully to another person it is important to sit down and discuss what you want from the relationship. Do you want the same thing? If one person wants a serious exclusive relationship and the other is after a casual fun time it will be impossible to have a healthy positive relationship. Having conversations about expectations is necessary before jumping in. Talking about expectations early will make the relationship easier in the long run. You do not want to commit yourself to someone who doesn’t see a future with you whether that be through marriage or kids.
6. How Do You Mesh With Their Family
Have you met your potential partners family? Do they have a close relationship? If you are a person who values family it is likely you would want your partner to do the same. Although there are many circumstances that might influence their relationships; how they treat their family is a good indicator how they value love. You should try to picture yourself as a member of their family and vice versa. Do your loved ones approve? The people who love and know you most might have the best insight on your relationship.