It all started with a speeding ticket.
I was clocked going 89 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, coming home from a night out with friends. Even before the ticket came in the mail, I knew I wouldn’t be able to pay the fine. I was just out of law school, working as a stocker at a big-box retailer and barely able to make ends meet while I searched for a better job – As an Associate somewhere, or even a paralegal, I didn’t care – while the threat of my impending student loans was beginning to rear its ugly head.
Things were dire, but until I got that ticket, I was in a state of denial. The ticket was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and it’s what spurred me into action to start looking for alternative revenue streams.
Of course, I had heard about “sugar daddy dating” while I was going to college. Some random article had been forwarded to me which quoted some insane specifics about how many female students at my school were secretly “sugar babies.” The statistic had definitely blown my hair back at the time, but I had cast the idea aside, having better things to concentrate on. Now that I was in need, the idea sprang to the forefront of my mind again.
We’ve all heard the term “sugar daddy” and “sugar baby” before – The connotation is so cute-sounding, there are even popular candies named after each. But the practice has been around for hundreds of years, even before it had a cutesy term to go along with it. Historically, wealthy men have always been able to maintain a relationship (or two, or more) with a woman merely by taking care of her tangible needs. These relationships were usually casual, prolonged, and based on mutual respect and understanding.
In modern times, several new variations on the practice have emerged. With the ability of the almighty internet to connect like-minded people with each other, it’s becoming more difficult to pin down just what a “typical” sugar dating relationship consists of. Ostensibly, it involves finding a person you click with, and setting expectations in advance, via an honest chat and a mutually beneficial agreement. A woman lets her needs be known, and the man provides for them for as long as they’re dating.
Well, I knew what my needs were. It was time to find a man who would meet them.
I selected Secret Benefits as my point of entry to the so-called “sugar bowl,” because I liked the look of the site, and the overall focus seemed to be on fun, rather than overly sexualized models dressed in tuxedos and whispering to each other. The premise is simple: You set up a profile like you would with Tinder or OK Cupid: Likes, dislikes, photos, a “Headline” designed to attract attention. You set up a search for your area, and you’re in the mix!
I wasn’t on Secret Benefits for more than a few minutes before I got a little pop-up window indicating that a man had viewed my profile. Then another came through, and another. Some started sending messages of introduction (the men pay the site for this and other privileges, while women use the site unrestricted for free – as it should be), while others merely marked themselves as “admirers.” After an hour, I had something like 45 admirers! Little old me – Admired!
So who were these Admirers? Well, I was shocked at the variety – all ages (some even my age – mid-twenties), all races, and varying levels of enthusiasm. Some acted like the Sultan of Bernai (“So what can you do to prove to me that you should be the one I pick?” is one message I neglected to respond to), while others were sweet and immediately engaged me in conversation, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
One such gentleman, who I’ll refer to as Titus, really started to sway my opinion. He was mid-50’s, which is about my father’s age, but I kind of forgot that after the first few messages. He spoke to me with kindness and great curiosity about my lifestyle. And the other thing was, he was smiling in each one of his pictures – one of which was of him on his boat. A lot of the men on Secret Benefits were going out of their way to be sexy in their profiles, hitting the camera with unnecessary “smolder.” Titus, by comparison, was all about having fun! The more I looked at that picture, the more I imagined myself just hangin’ with my boy Titus on his boat, being held close to him while the wind flowed through my hair… Not a bad mental image!
One member of the site, who I will call Stephen, was not only engaging – He was actually lawyer at a big firm in my area! As he asked me questions about my current situation, my mind began to wander about getting out of retail, and getting in the door at his firm. I have to tell you… The thought immediately started to make him more attractive… And he was pretty attractive to start with. He was also married with a family, but you know, why focus on that?
I began to ask myself – could I see myself with Stephen? Could I date a married man, in the hopes of furthering my career? I certainly wouldn’t be the first paralegal in a big law firm who was hooking up with one of the upwardly mobile associates. The only thing different about me would be my timing – most women wait until they’re actually working there to start office romances. In that sense, I’d be a step ahead.
I decided to give Stephen a try (sorry for now, Titus), and in one month of being his sugar baby I’ve gone out with him 3 times. Being a lawyer did give Stephen a leg up, since he’s in my chosen field, and he has promised to try to get me a job at his firm as a part of our arrangement. Lest you fear that he’s just stringing me along, he has been supplying me with cash on every occasion as well. Though I’m hesitant to say how much, as I don’t know how typical my agreement is, I know that having a sugar daddy has made a pretty big difference, and I would totally recommend the experience.
I’ve gotten money to make life easier in the present, a solid job prospect for my near future, and I haven’t even touched on the best part… When the speeding ticket came in the mail, per Stephen’s instructions, I didn’t even open it.
I just handed it over to him, and he paid it on the spot.