There was a time when putting the word online in front of something suggested it was new and exotic. A few examples are:
- Online banking
- Online shopping
- Online debate
- Online publication
But no one thinks of these things as either new or exotic. Online is no longer a useful descriptor. It is just banking and shopping and debate and publication. In fact, by saying online in front of common things makes you sound like a bit of a noob. Your nomenclature betrays inexperience.
If you are still calling it online dating instead of just dating, then precaution is definitely indicated. Precaution is necessary because a lot has changed in the dating world in the last few years. If you are newly single for whatever reason, you need a crash course before diving in. Some of the changes are minor while some are monumental. Here’s what you need to know about dating in the 21st century:
Check His Story
He might actually be a doctor on vacation from his work at the Mayo Clinic. It is possible that he interned at NASA before deciding to go into the medical field. He might actually be the third cousin, once removed, from the Dalai Lama. Then again, he may be a con artist wanted on 3 continents. In the old days, it was impossible to say for sure. These days, it’s much easier.
In fact, it has never been easier to check the story of a potential date. Doing a criminal records search is easy, cheap, and legal. You should definitely take advantage of such tools when available. The Internet can be used to check employment status as well. You might even want to check Facebook for relationship status. While you’re there, you can get a sense of what he’s into. Now that you have done some preliminary work, there is something more you need to investigate:
Check His Financial Compatibility
Do you know what is maybe even more important to a woman than career ambition, physical attraction, and sex and intimacy with regard to a potential mate? Financial responsibility and financial compatibility are, at least according to a survey done by a credit report agency. Their results show that 30% of women won’t marry a person with a low credit score. That number should probably be a lot higher.
It may not be a first date kind of thing. But before things get too serious, you should ask him to bring up his credit score for you. There is no way to ask this without it being awkward. But if you want to avoid the acrimonious breakup following a promising relationship, you should find a way to overcome the awkwardness. One way or the other, money is among the top reasons for divorce.
At some point, you should make the first move. Show him your credit score. Tell him why it is important to you. Then ask to see his score. If he is not as forthcoming as you, consider it a red flag that should not be ignored. Financial compatibility matters. Ask now, or regret later.
Out with the Old
If you are still asking yourself if you’re ready to date again, you’re probably not. You will be ready to get back into the dating pool when you have completely jettisoned the baggage of your old relationships. Do you find yourself hanging on to keepsakes that remind you of your previous partner? Are you cyber stalking your ex on social media? Have you achieved emotional autonomy? Or do you need someone to complete you?
This is one of those things about relationships that have not changed over time. You have to be shed of the old one before you start on a new one. The difference is that it is a lot easier for your new partner to realize you are hanging on to an old relationship by your social network habits, texts, and the like. It is not so easy to hide that torch you are carrying. So be sure to completely snuff it out.
The biggest thing to remember about online dating is that at the end of the day, it is just dating. Take precautions by checking his story. Ensure financial compatibility. And make sure you are ready to swim before diving back into the dating pool.
