How to tell if you suck at kissing
Everybody has their own style of kissing, because everybody has a different shaped mouth and a different personality. There isn’t one great way to kiss, and the experience of sharing a kiss with you will be different from one person to the next. But how will you ever know if you kiss well or suck at it? People aren’t likely to tell you, are they?
Ask yourself this – How long do people want to spend kissing me? Start paying attention to other people’s reactions when they kiss you. Are they pulling you towards them like they want more, or pulling away and stopping the snogging session short after a few seconds? Do you have to work hard to get a kiss from people, and feel like they are avoiding or reluctant to kiss you? Do you always make the first move?
Being observant to how the other person is behaving, feeling and responding is how you will learn to be a great kisser, because being a great kisser is not about learning specific kissing techniques or following a step-by-step kissing plan of action. If you want to experience great kissing then there are two things to think about:
- Not trying too hard, or following “rules”
- Keeping in tune with your partner
Learn how to give the ultimate kiss
The secret to giving the ultimate kiss is to give your kissing partner what they want, and you do this by starting off slow and gentle, and building up to the level of intensity and style of kissing that your partner seems to want from you.
A great kiss happens when two people are perfectly in sync with one another. If you have ever experienced this, it feels like you are both molding into one, and you don’t think about anything at all; you just allow yourself to be taken away by the experience of being at one with another person.
The only way to get there is to listen to your partner’s body language and try to connect with them. Don’t try to take over, instead use your own mouth to encourage them to show you what they want, and don’t forget to breathe. You can’t go wrong if you let the other person take the lead and learn from their preferred kissing style.
Giving the ultimate kiss is about not being selfish about it. Don’t get so carried away with your own pleasure or desire that you are ignoring the needs of your partner. Kissing is a two-way thing. That doesn’t mean you can’t bring the kiss to the next level if you feel your partner is waiting for you to lead them, but do it in a non-intrusive, and inviting way. Invite your partner to explore you, and wait for them to invite you back!
Kissing Disasters
Under no circumstances should you practice any of the following kissing failures. Very few people enjoy this kind of kissing. I fact I might go as far as to say that these are not examples of kissing at all; but they might be considered a form of face rape.
- Sticking your tongue straight into your partner’s mouth and directly down their throat is a choking hazard.
- Poking your tongue in and out, like it is dart is just plain annoying.
- Slobbering all over their face, and forcing unnecessary amounts of your saliva into their mouth is disgusting.
- Licking around the mouth, chin or nose area is unexpected and unwanted.
- Clashing your teeth against theirs is dangerous.
- Biting hard on their lips or tongue will hurt them, not turn them on.
- Pushing your chewing gum into their mouth is grotesque.
- Holding their head when they are obviously resisting you is controlling.
- Pulling the hair aggressively is not pleasurable or sexy, unless you are in role play or you know for sure that they like it rough!
- Pinning someone against his or her will is out of the question.
Kissing Tips
First and foremost, you should attempt to read the situation and your partner’s body language, and then follow your instincts for the perfect, balanced kiss. But if you are still nervous or unsure and need some direction, here are some kissing tips that will help to give you the confidence you need to start using your own initiative to giving the perfect kiss.
- Make sure your breath is fresh – This doesn’t always mean minty!
- Check your teeth in the mirror – transferring a bit of food unintentionally from your mouth to theirs is never a turn on!
- Make sure your lips are not dry, chapped or bleeding. Some Vaseline or lip balm will do wonders and make your mouth look more enticing no matter how thick or thin your lips are.
- Start off gentle, so that you can accurately assess what your partner wants from you.
- Invite your partner to kiss you rather than inflict your kisses upon them.
- Remember to build anticipation by going slowly, and holding back ever so slightly.
- Vary the pressure you use on their lips; this way you will be able to see if they are leaning in for more and contributing or enjoying the kiss as much as you are.
- Introduce just a hint of tongue to see how they take it. If they reciprocate you can slowly start to massage your tongue with theirs for a deeper and more intimate kissing experience.
- You don’t want your kiss to be completely dry, because cracked lips are never sexy, but watch how much you are salivating. Too much saliva is an instant turn off.
- Always end a good kiss by looking in the person’s eyes and smiling.
Remember: Kissing is not rocket science, it is just one way of connecting on an intimate level with another person and expressing how you feel. And in order to connect with someone, you have to learn to listen with your senses. This is how you will develop your kissing skills, and be able to have great kissing experiences.
