Guys, women aren’t nearly as complicated as they seem. We’re just like you but with different equipment downstairs. We might like different things and or like talking about different things, but when it comes to dating, men and women are actually pretty similar. All the same, there are a few things you can do when asking a girl out that will increase your chances of getting a yes. Here are ten of them.
10: Don’t push us or rush us.
If we just got out of a nasty relationship, we’re probably not going to want to jump right back into another. Give us a little time and let us go at our own pace. Of course, if the girl seems to be leading you on, it’s perfectly fine to ask her what her intentions are and demand a straight answer but if we’re clear about not being ready, don’t try to force us. If you want a relationship and you want it now, find someone who’s ready for the same thing. We might regret letting you slip away one day but that’s not something you can worry about. If you rush a girl into something she’s not ready for, you’re going to wind up getting hurt.
09: Avoid falling in to the ‘just friends’ category.
Being there for a girl when she needs you is important, but you really need to watch out for becoming someone she only thinks of as a friend if you are romantically interested in her. I don’t really know how it works for guys, but with girls, once someone is a friend, it’s really hard to imagine them as a romantic partner. If you’re okay with simply being her friend, then that’s wonderful but if you’re not willing to settle, remind her every so often that you are romantically interested. Flirt with her. Let her know you’re interested even if you don’t come right out and tell her. She’ll get the message if you send it clearly enough.
08: Don’t try to be the guy you think she wants.
For the love of all things good and holy, just be yourself. Don’t act like you’re someone you’re not to try to win us over. This is something I always tell the girls, but it’s true for the guys too. Just be who you are. If that isn’t enough for the girl you’re interested in, then she isn’t the right girl for you. That can be hard to understand sometimes – for men and women – but it’s important. Be genuine and sincere. Let her get to know who you are as a person. That way you know when she says yes, she’s saying yes because she likes you and wants to go out with you instead of liking the person you’re pretending to be.
07: Don’t brag about money, stuff you own or your career.
Sure a rich guy with a nice car and a fat wallet is attractive to some women, but those women are almost always interested in the car and the money instead of the guy, himself. If you’re okay with that then by all means – brag to your hearts content but remember, that’s none of it’s going to impress a woman that isn’t interested in that sort of thing. In fact, girls who aren’t interested in the contents your wallet over what’s in your head are more likely going to be turned off by your bragging. Not all women care about money, fancy cars and men with engorged bank accounts. Bragging about that sort of thing to a girl that doesn’t have an interest in it is going to make her feel like you think she isthat kind of girl which is going to come off as more of an insult than anything else.
06: Find out whatever you can about her.
Before you work up the nerve to ask a girl out, try to find out if she’s single. That one’s important, guys. If she isn’t, don’t be the creepy guy that tries to talk her into leaving her man. It doesn’t matter if he’s a jerk. If she’s going out with a jerk, it’s her job to figure that out and if she hasn’t figured it out yet, she probably isn’t going to respond well to you telling her. If she isn’t someone you talk to on a regular basis but the two of you share mutual friends, ask those friends if she’s involved. If you don’t even have that much information, at least look for a wedding or engagement ring. Strike up a conversation and mention her boyfriend. She’s either going to tell you she’s single or tell you about the guy she’s with. If she doesn’t say anything, she either has a boyfriend or just isn’t interested in dating you. Trust me, if she’s single and interested, she’ll jump at the chance to let you know the boyfriend you mentioned doesn’t exist.
05: Try to find things you have in common with her.
Nothing breaks the ice like a little chit-chat about something you both enjoy. If she’s into movies, talk to her about movies. You don’t have to like the same type of movies to talk about them. It just gets a conversation started. The same goes for music, sports, food or anything else you have in common with the object of your affection. Finding a little common ground gives you something to talk about before you ask her out and will give you the chance to show her that you share some of the same interests. That alone will significantly increase your chances of getting a yes.
04: Don’t be a jerk but don’t be a pushover, either.
Not all women are attracted to jerks. That is a myth. Being a jerk is going to get you shot down far more often than that myth would have you believe. Like most myths, i’s somewhat rooted in truth. Women do seem to date a lot of jerks but here’s the real honest truth. Most of those jerks aren’t actually jerks. They just seem to be when looked at through the veil of a failed relationship. On the other side of the coin, you have pushovers. Girls don’t want a jerk but they don’t want someone that has no backbone. Don’t let a girl walk all over you. Not all women will take advantage of a pushover but not all women will respect them either.
03: Don’t put her on a pedestal.
As I said in the introduction, girls and guys aren’t really all that different. There’s no need to treat us like we are. When you approach a girl to ask her out for a first date, try to think of it as asking a guy friend to hang out. Sure the setting for the hang out might be different and the expected outcome is different but the basic premise is the same. You want to spend time with someone. You want to have fun. Think of it that way and you’ll be a lot less nervous.
02: Don’t get too hung up on your appearance.
Looks are important. No one wants to admit it, but it’s the truth. That physical attraction has to be there on at least some level. With that said, if you’re normally dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and show up to ask the object of your affection out on a date in a suit and tie, it’s going to be painfully obvious that you’re trying to impress her. If you’re casual and relaxed in your day to day style of dress, then stick with that. You don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard.
01: Keep your nerves in check.
We’re just people, guys. There’s no need to be scared of us. To be fair, I know a lot of men aren’t but even so, asking a girl out can be intimidating, just as it can be when a girl asks a guy out. The worst case scenario in either event is a no. The best case scenario is a yes. The second scenario is much more likely to occur if you just relax. Women are kind of like bears. We can smell your fear but instead of attracting us, it repels us. Imagine when a girl approaches you acting all nervous and shy. It isn’t nearly as appealing as a girl acting confident and secure. Try to remember that.