It’s said that you can’t call yourself a real driver until you’ve had at least one crash. For the celebrity classes this seems to be more than just a rite of passage, it’s a lifestyle choice. With money, fame, drugs and fast cars, it’s little wonder that many celebrities spend a good bit of time wrapped around a lamppost or copying the look of a concertina. In the UK it’s quite common to hear about some careless footballer totalling their wheels or speeding on motorways; in the US it’s more likely to be actors and their families who have seen The Fast and the Furious one too many times and think they have the skill of a professional stunt driver. Perhaps letting the train take the strain would be advisable. Apart from the obvious advantages it’s so easy to book advance train tickets and opt for the more relaxing journey.
What’s that you say? Not all celebrities are bad drivers? Well, you are certainly right. In my experience only a fool would lump all people, such as older drivers, women drivers etc. as good/bad. The main problem arises when it’s a celebrity driver; the fallout is likely to be a lot worse. Thundering a supercar down a residential street and losing control is probably going to harm a lot more people than some idiot in a poorly maintained Micra. Pass ’em the train timetable please.
Let’s open the Hall of Shame.
Nick Hogan
Son of Hulk Hogan, Nick managed to write off this Toyota Supra on a Florida highway. Apparently he was indulging in some street racing on his way to a Steak House. His passenger, John Graziano, a US Marine had opted for not wearing a seatbelt and he now requires 24 hour care.
Shia LeBeouf
He, of Transformers fame decided it would be cool to have a few bevvies then take his Ford-150 truck out for a spin. Literally.
Brandy
The actress/singer is facing yet another lawsuit from her crash on the California freeway that resulted in the death of one of the occupants. Although she was cleared of any personal wrongdoing, Donald Lite filed suit claiming Brandy failed to follow road regulations and had left him with ‘serious and permanent injuries’.
George Michael
Arguably the worst driver on the planet, George is now at the centre of his seventh police investigation for driving offences. This time, hapless George had collided with photography shop’s doorway. Perhaps he was under the influence of drugs again.
David Haye
Heavyweight champion, David Haye, wrote off his £80,000 Mercedes sports car with a handy pedestrian-saving lamppost after he lost control in South London. Later, David blamed the lamp post rather than his dubious driving He tweeted, ‘Damn you lamp post!’
Ian Wright
This ex-footballer did a bit of damage to his fabulous Ferrari 360 Spider, £60k worth of damage to be exact.
Cristiano Ronaldo
Portuguese pretty boy and tantrum thrower, Cristiano didn’t pay enough attention to the road on his way to Old Trafford and wrecked his Ferrari in the tunnel wall under Manchester Airport.
Jay Kay
Another fiery Italian supercar, a purple Lamborghini Diablo SE30, bit the dust in 2006 when an alleged friend wrote it off on Park Lane in central London.
Tiger Woods
Would it be tedious to say this was a case of Woods not being able to see the trees? My excuse is I’m doing my bit for the environment by recycling old jokes. Back in 2009 fleeing his armed-with-golf-club wife, the cheeting Tiger collided with a fire hydrant and tree at the end of his drive. Poor Cadillac Escalade.
And finally…
Naseem Hamed
The former boxing champion is a good advert for what boxing does to the brain. As well as writing off his £325k Mercedes SLR McLaren, earning himself a 4 year driving ban and severely injuring the driver of the Volkswagen Golf he collided with. Naseem had previously been banned before for driving at 110mph – what a muppet. Well his ban has now been lifted. Be afraid everyone… be very afraid…
Guest blogger, Greg Coltman, is proud of his squeaky clean licence but prefers to walk more than drive. The fresh air is great for stimulating creativity.
