If your best friend has asked you to be a bridesmaid, you are sure to say yes, but be aware that you’re going to have to invest a lot of time and money over the next few months before the wedding day actually arrives. Don’t fall prey to the wedding party blues. Be a savvy bridesmaid and keep smiling and having fun all the way through to your friend’s special day. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you.
Don’t: Accept the role of bridesmaid if you’re not completely invested. In your role as bridesmaid you will be called upon to take care of a number of responsibilities over the next few months. If you don’t have the time or you think it’s all too much for you to handle, then politely say no. Don’t agree to do it even if you have the slightest doubt, otherwise, you will not fulfill your role adequately and upset the bride. You may even end up ruining a good friendship.
Do: Save money by buying a pre-owned bridesmaid’s dress. Online market places for used bridal gowns are becoming very popular. The dresses are in excellent condition and you’ll find that many of them have only been worn once. There is a wide range of styles and sizes to choose from, which means it’s easy to have one adjusted to fit you perfectly. You won’t be limited because there are a number to choose from, so you’re certain to find something to suit your friend’s wedding theme or color. What’s more, they are all offered at very affordable prices.
Don’t: Expect the bride to pay for your bridesmaid’s dress. To avoid any embarrassment later, discuss a budget you can afford before you even start looking at dresses. Bear in mind you will also have to buy your shoes and accessories and pay a share for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. It’s a good idea to sit down with the other bridesmaids so you can all agree on how much you can afford. That way there are no awkward moments later. Whatever you do, do not complain to the bride about the expenses.
Do: Be there for the bride when she needs to vent. Planning a wedding can be stressful and you need to be supportive and empathetic if your friend gets upset. You can be the best friend by listening to her concerns and helping her in any way you can. Don’t avoid this responsibility. Answer her calls and texts even if you’re not feeling in the mood. Also, be prepared to jump in even when you haven’t been asked to. If you happen to notice the bride’s mother is feeling left out, help her feel part of the team. If the bridesmaid is set on having her bachelorette party in Hawaii and you ladies can’t budget it, put your head together with the other ‘maids and come up with an alternative that the bride will love.
Don’t: Expect the bride to pay for her own bachelorette party. Since the bridesmaids are throwing it for her, it is up to them to split the cost. Get together and plan a budget beforehand so you’re all on the same page. Make sure that you’re not throwing the bachelorette party in a place the bride hates. If you want to surprise her but also want to make sure it’s a place she’ll love, compare notes with the other bridesmaids.
Do: Get along with the other bridesmaids, even if you don’t know them that well. Some of the other bridesmaids may be coming in from out of town and you may not have met them before. Make your best effort to help them feel welcome.
Don’t: Show up late for any part of the pre-wedding events including dress fitting, rehearsal, and bridal shower. This will make you look as though you’re not committed to your responsibility and will cause extra stress for the bride. And of course, be on time for the wedding itself.
Do: Get together with the other ‘maids to arrange a bridal shower. Pick a venue, plan decorations and food and send out events. Plan as far ahead as you can so all the invitees can attend.
Don’t: Complain about the bride’s choice of dress style or color. Even if it’s not what you would have chosen, it’s important that she feels beautiful. Remember it’s her day.
Do: Pay attention. If the bride emails or texts to ask you for help or to tell you about a change of plan make sure you respond and make a note of any changes. Keep a file containing the guest list, your duties and tasks and a timeline.
Don’t: Post pictures of the bride getting ready on social media. That’s a sure way to makes an angry bride and break a friendship. No one should see her until she walks down the aisle.
Do: Get up on the dance floor and work your moves. Traditionally bridesmaids are the one that gets the party swinging. Politely encourage other guests to join in.
Don’t: Get drunk. Don’t embarrass the newlyweds and their guest by staggering around the reception room and having to be carried off to bed. Restrain yourself, show some decorum and keep an eye on the bride in case she needs a little assistance.
Do: Make sure your bridesmaid speech is awesome. Try to be funny and not hold back, without embarrassing the wedding party. Make them laugh but not cringe. Have fun in your role as a bridesmaid. Keep smiling and help make your friend’s day wonderful.
On the day of the wedding, be prepared for anything, whether it’s running last minute errands, helping the bride get dressed, handing out programs, or helping the guests find their seats. Make sure the bride has everything she needs and that her big day goes perfectly, and if she drinks a little too much champagne, be there to hold her hair back in the restroom.
Natasha Goddard works in the wedding industry and enjoys sharing some advice online from time to time. Her articles appear on bridal and women’s lifestyle blogs.
