Relationships can be complicated. I don’t think there are many people out there who would dispute that. A successful relationship requires trust, communication and a willingness to be open and honest with one another. That’s not always easy, especially if your relationship hasn’t exactly been defined. It’s always appealing to keep a relationship casual in the beginning as two people really need time to get to know each other but a casual relationship can easily become a confusing one. Are you a booty call? If you can say yes to the following ten questions, you just may be.
10: Does he call you his girlfriend?
This one is low on the list because it’s a pretty complicated one. A guy might not refer to you as his girlfriend for a lot of different reasons. If you call him your boyfriend and he doesn’t call you his girlfriend, you might have something to worry about. Otherwise, it might just be a simple lack of definition. He might not know what you want and may just not know how to ask. If you’re not sure, go the direct route and just start the conversation. Don’t test him by calling him your boyfriend and hope for the best. First of all, it’s sneaky. Second of all, you might appear presumptuous. Just ask what he’s looking for and decide whether or not you’re looking for the same thing.
09: How much do you know about his family, past, job etc?
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you learn a lot about who that person is and where they come from. People talk about the things that are important to them with the people that are important to them. If he thinks of you as more than a booty call, you’re likely on that important person list in his mind so he probably talks to you about his family, friends, job and what kind of childhood he had. If you know a lot about him and learned that information from him directly, you’re probably more than a booty call. Don’t go on this one alone though. He might just be the talkative sort.
08: Do you talk when he visits?
Sex is great but do you actually talk to the guy when he visits you or when you visit him? If you just head straight to the bedroom without even bothering with a little chit chat first, chances are you’re a booty call to him. Again with this one though, it can be a little complicated. He might just be responding to the way you behave when he arrives. For example, if you’re sprawled out on the couch in lingerie when he shows up, he might get the impression that you’re only interested in sex. If you don’t really talk all that often, give it a shot. You might realize you have a lot in common and things might progress from there. You might realize you have nothing in common but a mutual attraction. If that’s the case, you can decide if that’s what you want and go from there.
07: If you see him out in public, does he seem happy to talk to you?
You see him out somewhere with a group of his friends. You approach him to strike up a conversation but he doesn’t seem to be interested in talking. You slink away with hurt feelings. Take a breath. Was he already immersed in a conversation with his friends? Did he seem rushed? Perhaps he was just on a lunch break from work. Perhaps it was a business outing. There are a lot of reasons a guy might not talk to you if he sees you in public. It could be nothing more than nerves. Evaluate the situation a little better before you jump to conclusions. If you decide there was really no logical explanation for him blowing you off, there’s a good chance you’re just his secret booty call.
06: Have you met his friends?
This is another complicated one but not quite as complicated as some of the questions we’ve talked about so far. First, you need to consider how long you’ve been seeing each other. If you’ve been seeing each other on a regular basis for several months and you haven’t been introduced to his friends there could be two things at play here. You could be a secret booty call he is hiding from his friends or he could be trying to hide his friends from you. Guys can be pretty different when they’re hanging out with their friends. Maybe he wants to hold off on the introductions until he feels more secure in the relationship.
05: Does he spend the night?
If the guy rushes out as soon as the lovin’ is over, you should really ask what that’s all about. Maybe he just has a demanding job and he really does have a lot of morning meetings but that’s probably not the case if he works at a fast food joint, a bar or a retail store. This refers back to the “how much do you know about him” question. He also might not know you’re interested in having him spend the night. Try offering and gage his reaction. Don’t try to push him into staying. Just let him know the option is available. If he still chooses to rush home, there’s a pretty good chance you’re his booty call.
04: Can you call him just to talk?
You’re feeling bored and maybe a little lonely. You call up your guy for no reason other than to talk. You don’t want him to come over. You’re just wondering what he’s up to. Maybe you were just thinking about him and wanted to let him know. Do you feel comfortable doing that? Does he seem happy to hear from you? Does he seem annoyed? Those last two questions should really tell you a lot. Remember though, when and how often you call are important factors here. If he’s at work, he probably won’t be able to talk. If you call him several times a day, he’s probably going to be annoyed. Pull back on the constant phone calls and see if his reaction changes.
03: Do you do things together outside of the house?
Old married couples like my husband and I spend almost all of our time together at home but when we were first dating, we were constantly out and about together. We went out for drinks together. We went to dinner together. We went to the movies. This is what most couples do but of course it’s not for every couple. There’s nothing wrong with spending most of your time in the comfort of your own home but if you never leave the house together, there may be something going on.
02: Do you have his phone number?
Ladies, if you do not have your guy’s phone number, something is probably up. You should be able to call your boyfriend. If you’ve asked for his phone number but he always has some excuse as to why he can’t give it to you, there is something up – especially if he’s sleeping with you on a regular basis. You might not just be a booty call. You may not be the only woman in his life. Find out what’s going on and decide what to do with the information you get.
01: Does your phone only ring after the bars have closed?
If he only calls you in the early morning, post bar hours, you are a booty call. The only possible exception here is dating a guy that works the night shift and is just calling you when he gets off work. Let me be clear though. It does not count if he’s asked you to join him at the bar. If he invites you out and you don’t go and he calls you when he’s done at the bar, you might not have anything to worry about. If neither of those things is true, you’re definitely his booty call.
