Infidelity is a major factor in broken marriages. Often times, cheats are viewed as people who have:
- emotional immaturity,
- childhood trauma, or
- raised with bad influence regarding relationships.
It also cannot be disregarded that sometimes, married individuals cheat because they can’t help themselves and they know they can get away with it. However, there are also committed people who can control their urges to have physical or sexual interaction with another human being. These individual are keeping their sexual desires in check, and they believe that as long as they are not having sex with the objects of their fantasies, that they are loyal to their spouses.
But, this ideology is utterly wrong. Cheating does not only mean actual sexual activity, as there are non-sexual forms of cheating that are still considered as cheating. They include:
8 types of non-sexual cheating
Let us explore the types of non-sexual cheating that you may never know counts as cheating. Here are the top 8 forms of non-physical cheating:
- Emotional cheating
Emotional cheating happens when you have feelings for another person but you’re holding back so you won’t act on your desire to sleep with the other person. The one you have feelings for may or may not love you back, but craving for another person’s touch, attention, and affection even when you are not acting on it is still called cheating, though non-sexual.
In many cases, emotional cheating is even worst than physical cheating. You can have sexual relations with another human being without feeling anything and forget about the affair the next morning. But when you cheat with your emotions, it hurts more for your spouse because love is the foundation of every marriage.
- Online affair
Online affair is having a chat-mate through your social media account or porn sites. Exchanging sexual messages with another person online is non-sexual cheating, even if there is no actual physical connection. This can ruin your marriage since you will always find a way to be alone in order to continue your virtual affair.
You may stay late in the office to chat with your online lover, or stay for long hours in your home office pretending to work late just to indulge in your fantasies.
- Flirting with others
Flirting with others is typically a casual hobby for many married couples, but this seemingly harmless activity is a kind of non-sexual cheating. Not to mention that excessive flirting can definitely lead to physical sex when unchecked. Flirting even when you have a ring on your finger is an act of betrayal to your spouse, because flirting can evoke sexual tensions that lead to dark thoughts.
- Financial cheating
Financial cheating is a non-sexual form of infidelity. This happens when you hide your true financial income from your spouse, buying things that you keep secret, or using your money for gambling or feed off your vices. Though you have earned your money and deserve to spend it as you see fit, you have the obligation to your spouse to share your finances according to the law.
Except of course, if you both signed a pre-nup agreement regarding split finances.
- Mental cheating
Mental cheating occurs when you are frequently visited with sexual thoughts of other people aside from your lifetime partner. This non-sexual cheating becomes worst when you have sex with your spouse while mentally picturing another person in your arms. This act of infidelity is a slap on the face to your spouse, as it is extremely insulting and humiliating especially when the truth comes out.
Mental cheating is also about constantly thinking about another life with someone else, conveying regret in choosing to marry your spouse.
- Close friendship
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having close friends, but when you prefer to always be with your friends instead of spending quality time with your spouse, then you are doing non-sexual cheating. Many married people cannot fathom this activity as a form of infidelity, but the desire to spend more fun times with people while abandoning your spouse at home is indeed cheating.
- Call & text phone affair
Everyone needs someone to talk to once in a while, particularly in times when your home situation is bad. To catch cheating spouse, look out to see if they are spending long hours daily texting and calling another person.
The discussions via this means may evolve around your rocky marriage and other stuff is actually defined as non-sexual cheating. Call & text phone affair hinders your ability to have deep and genuine talk with your spouse, since you are pouring your heart out to your phone friend.
You will end up staying long in the bathroom or in your den or anywhere just to talk to someone else, when you can find resolution to your issues by talking to your other half.
- Work spouse
A work spouse is usually a term used for a boss or a colleague in the office whom you are spending more time with compared to your spouse. Though you are not sexually or emotionally in a relationship with your work spouse, this is a non-sexual cheating based on the level of closeness as colleagues.
Having a work spouse can rapidly escalate into a huge problem in your marriage especially when you can’t wait to get to the office and are always reluctant to go home.
Cheating, regardless if sexual or non-sexual, is a betrayal to the person whom you have sworn to love and be faithful to for eternity. Remember that infidelity destroys families, and paves the way for traumatic experiences for your children. If you notice that you are doing one or more of the non-sexual cheating forms, then you know you have to stop.
Go back to the time when you first decided to marry your spouse, and try recall the good times. If you both still feel the same way, if there is still a spark in your hearts that can help you survive this painful time of our marriage, then hold on. As Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on”.