Every human being is different, so it stands to reason that every woman is a unique snowflake too. That is why it is difficult to understand exactly what women want from men – they all want different things. Men can learn from their mistakes with previous girlfriends, but every woman they meet is going to different. In each relationship these men, and the women alike, have to learn as they go along. They have to learn what to do, what not to do, what their partners like, what they don’t like, what quirks they have and how to put up with them.
Trite as it sounds, the truth is that relationships are journeys where compromise is key. No matter how much you like each other, you won’t be the prince and princess living happily ever after; there’s always going to be some friction, some disagreement. But after the screaming and the yelling (and perhaps the throwing of a few hard objects), if you still want to be together, then you know that your relationship is strong, and that it will last.
One important point for men to remember is that people change, and personalities evolve. There’s an old joke that a man marries a woman hoping she would stay the same, while a woman marries a man thinking she can change him. Don’t fall into that trap. The girl you fell in love with in high school will not be the same girl ten years later. And even if she is (highly unlikely), you won’t be the same guy who fell in love with her.
As it has just been mentioned, trying to generalize women’s likes and dislikes is a bad idea. Chances are you’ll go very wrong, offend her or just make yourself out to be a fool. So here are a few tips for maintaining a smooth and rewarding relationship with your special girl.
1. Find out her likes and dislikes: Let’s use an example here. Pink is a girly color. You’ve grown up with your sisters wearing pink shoes and clothes, using pink stationary, and watching princesses in cartoons wearing pink sparkly dresses. So you think it’s safe to assume that your girlfriend (or sister, or friend) would appreciate something a garish pink cell phone for her birthday. Her favorite color may be blue or red or green, and it’s your job to find that out. And don’t be afraid of giving yourself away if, around her birthday, you ask her about her preferred colors. She will probably see right through it, but she’ll appreciate the effort.
2. Reply to her messages: This might actually be applicable for everyone, not just women. If a woman sends you messages, do reply to them when you have the time. You’re both busy people, but taking the time and trouble to reply shows her you’re interested in what she’s saying, and want to keep the dialogue going. Also, it’s just plain rude not to reply when you have a message. You weren’t raised in a barn. And when you reply, make sure it’s appropriate. If a girl sends you a 7 line message, texting back a simple ‘LOL’ is really not a good idea.
3. Don’t dismiss her hobbies: Your girlfriend collects cereal boxes because she wants a decoder ring. Or perhaps reads a great deal of fan-fiction about TV shows. Or blogs about lipstick. Now, you can poke fun at them all you like (and she will probably laugh along with you), but you must recognize that these things are important for her. Ask her about her hobbies; you probably won’t understand the fascination, but she’s going to enjoy talking about it. You may not realize it, but she probably does the same for you.
4. Show her affection: Most women are affectionate. Some of them may not be demonstrative, especially in public, but when you have privacy, a hug or a kiss, for no special reason, is greatly appreciated. You can do that while she’s doing housework or working on the computer, and in most cases your gestures of affection will be very welcome.
5. Dress up in the outfits she likes: A lot of women are forever giving their men advice on what to wear. Once in a while, take it. It can be a certain type of shirt, or a coat. Or you can go full formal in a suit or a tuxedo, which most women love. In any case, make the effort to look nice just to please her; it will make her feel loved. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, dressing up can bring back the memories of when you were first dating, and let you feel the thrill of that initial romance once again.
6. Get to know her friends and family: Again, this may not apply for all women, but most of them do maintain close ties with family and friends. Get to know the people she’s close to; her mother, brother or sisters, as well as her best friends. Family is important and if she does maintain ties with them, it will please her a great deal if you establish roots with them yourself. As for her friends, try and build a rapport with them too. If you are in the early stages of your relationship, getting the friends to like you will be a step in making it more concrete. And who knows, maybe you’ll end up liking them all and create lasting friendships.
7. Be funny. Humor is extremely attractive, and having in-jokes with your significant other is a rewarding experience. Some of your best memories may be of talking and laughing together. So remember all the old jokes and try and establish new ones. Find out what makes her laugh – it can be an impression of your grade school math teacher, or of her boss, or a tv-show character. You don’t have to become a stand–up comedian, but being entertaining ensures she’ll never be bored.