Very few brides enter into marriage without preconceived notions of what marriage should be like. In fact, it would be rare to find a woman who says that everything in married life went just exactly as she had imagined it would. Sometimes the realisation that life isn’t going to be a bed of roses can lead to breaks in the relationship that prove difficult to heal. Therefore, one of the very best gifts you can give the newlywed bride is to realise that marriage is a relationship that needs to be fed and nourished over time so that it will be as alive and vibrant as the day she said her vows. These tips should give her the building blocks of a healthy marriage.
1. Communication Is the Foundation Upon Which You Build
So many times, couples fail to understand the importance of open and honest communication. If you are to build a solid marriage, you will need to be able to voice opinions, sometimes even radically different opinions, without being afraid of a nasty response. It takes work to reach that point where love is unconditional, but the only way you will ever get there is to celebrate your differences as well as the things you have in common. It may take some work to communicate your feelings without injuring the other person’s feelings, but it can be done if you are willing to see through the eyes of your spouse.
2. Recognise the Need for Alone Time
Actually, this goes both ways as well. One of the biggest issues with many relationships is clinging to the other person. Both men and women need alone time or perhaps a night out with friends. It doesn’t mean you are going to be unfaithful, but it does mean that marriage doesn’t mean you have to cut ties with friends and families. Sometimes one or the other of you just wants to spend a bit of down time in the local park listening to the sounds of nature or perhaps walking along the shore on a warm summer day. The need to have a bit of time alone doesn’t mean you don’t cherish every moment you spend with your spouse. It simply means you need time to take a breath away from a hectic life.
3. Work Through Financial Concerns Together
Sometimes, one partner or the other wants to do something that really isn’t in the budget, but an occasional splurge can be overcome. For example, if your husband wants to spend a bit of time gaming or laying bets on his favourite football club, that’s not a big issue. If you are working together on this, help him check out the best websites for reviews. Maybe he wants to play a game or two of poker online. The best websites for gaming comparisons will mention those that have a ‘no deposit’ welcome for new players. One UK review site that offers that information is onlinecasinos.co.uk. If you’re worried about finances, no deposit sites are the best!
4. Respect Is a Crucial Element of a Healthy Marriage
In many ways, this is also a critical element within communication. You don’t have to agree with everything your partner says but you need to learn to respect their differing views. Just as you are entitled to your opinion, so too is your husband. While you often hear this said jokingly, the truth is that marriage would be dull if both partners thought and acted just alike. Who wants to be married to a clone? Learn to respect your husband’s opinions and choices that differ from your perspective. No two individuals are alike and, in a marriage, too much ‘sameness’ could be boring indeed, so learn to respect your partner’s right to individuality.
5. Learning to Trust May Be the Hardest of All
Just as many marriage counsellors say that communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, it could also be said that trust is the foundation of communication, honest, and even respect. It may sound cliché, but if you are married, you should trust your spouse with your very life. You should be able to trust that they will hear what you are saying, even if they don’t agree. You need to trust that they are being open and honest with you, giving you the respect that you deserve. Trust means that you will never need to face worries alone and that your partner will hold you up when you are ready to fall.
6. Spontaneous Moments of Romance
Very often you hear that couples need to have ‘date nights’ to keep the romance alive. Many experts believe that this is a forced moment of romance and can often lead to greater issues than if the couple was open to spontaneous romantic moments. Perhaps you will feel like preparing a romantic candlelit dinner to surprise your husband with. Maybe he feels the call to bring you home a bouquet of long-stemmed red roses. No, it’s not your birthday and no, he’s not having an affair. These moments are the glue that keeps any marriage together. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of scheduling date night with your husband, then let him be as spontaneous as he’d like. It can be quite an adventure.
Newlyweds often believe that marriage will see them riding off into the sunset in a pumpkin turned carriage to a land of magical delight. That may well explain the honeymoon, but the moment everything returns to normal, some young couples just don’t know what to do with themselves. If this is what you are experiencing, then take a break and spend a bit of time alone. Hit those online gaming sites and play a game of poker or blackjack. Go for a walk around the neighbourhood or read the latest novel by your favourite author. Just remember that respect and trust are what makes it possible for you to be true to yourself while sharing a life with your spouse.