When your best friend asks you to be her maid of honor at her wedding it’s actually more than a privilege, it is an honor. Your best friend needs your help and support more than ever through this emotional and life changing time. She has chosen you and has placed her faith and confidence in your unique ability to be her emotional support and friend during a stressful time. Along with that she also trusts that you are the person whom she can confide in and rely on to carry out the intricate tasks and organization needed for the maid duties.
During the pre wedding stage, the bride might naturally want to rely on the groom for important decisions and help, but grooms often have their hands full with other issues with studies or the workplace. Let’s face it; some men just prefer to be left out of the minute details of wedding planning. Therefore the bride will need the help of her best friend or a supportive family member (or both) to bounce ideas off of before presenting them to the groom. The groom might want the bride to handle the majority of the more complicated wedding arrangements, decisions, and plans with only a nod of his head. There are always exceptions to this rule, of course.
Consider that your maid of honor duties will be one of the chief factors in helping your best friend successfully navigate her way through the pre-wedding stage and on to an unforgettable wedding event. Let’s go over the list of some of the duties you can expect to be responsible for, these might vary depending on the Bride’s mother or other family members involved. Bear in mind too that making lists and checklists for yourself can and will be an invaluable aid in helping you to stay organized and on top of all that needs to be seen to and accomplished.
Pre-Wedding Prep (Beforehand):
- An emotional support and confidant offering reassurance and encouragement to your best friend
- Chairwoman of the Bridesmaid Committee
- Plan and Organize the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Parties
- Coordinate the bridesmaids and plan/organize shopping for bridesmaid’s attire and accessories.
- You might also be called on to help assist the Bride with these duties:
1)Go with bride when she shops for her wedding dress, 2) Help choose the wedding and reception venues, 3) Assist bride in choosing wedding invitations, fill them out & mail; 4) Go with the bride to fill out the couple’s Bridal Registry; 5) Assist in organizing the rehearsal dinner; 6) Attend all Bridal Party Events; 7) Stay abreast of all wedding & family considerations and changes; 8) Help organize seating arrangements for the wedding and reception (if needed); 9) Help the bride choose flowers and bouquet arrangements.
- Wedding gift organizer and keeping track of who gave which gift.
Wedding Day (getting ready for and during the ceremony):
- Make sure the Bride and all the bridesmaids arrive safely.
- Assist the Bride to transform into a picture of elegance, beauty & serenity by helping her with her make-up, hair and getting dressed.
- Help to shield the Bride’s privacy before the wedding as she’ll already be nervous without having to handle undue pressures from well-meaning ones.
- During the ceremony, it’s the maid of honor who holds onto the Bride’s bouquet and the groom’s ring and hands it over to the bride when the appropriate time comes.
- Always help the bride with straightening out her dress, veil or train.
- You might be called on to be one of the witnesses for the Marriage Licence (an honor).
- Assist in any way needed with helping the bridal couple’s congratulation line be smooth (usually done immediately following the wedding).
- Be part of the Wedding Photos.
- At the reception, after the Bride and Groom’s dance with relatives and friends, help to collect the money (bag) and hand over to the couple after the reception. (This is a tradition but it might not be done).
- Dance the first dance with the Groom’s Best Man.
- Make a speech or toast at the wedding reception.
The Bridal Shower
In coordination with the bridesmaids, another one of your primary maid of honor duties will be to organize, plan and host a bridal shower for the Bride-to-be. This may or may not be the same bridal shower as one given by members of the family, that will depend on the bride and her respective family. Another one of your maid duties is your responsibility to gather the other bridesmaids together to plan this celebratory event. Once you and the bridesmaids meet together, you’ll want to assign responsibilities for the functions; decide on and choose your theme, pick a venue, talk about any games or activities you’ll want to play, gather the list of who to invite and assign invitations, organize the food served or cater, etc. Remember, traditionally both you and the bridesmaids will take care of the expense for your bridesmaids gowns, as well as the Bridal Shower (unless the bride suggests an alternative arrangement).
On the day of the shower, arrive early and set up to avoid last minute panic or stress. Have your own dress or attire chosen well ahead of time. Make sure you have a toast prepared to make for the Bride; allow time for games and fun, keep track of all the presents received and who they are received from; and help with the clean up afterwards.
The Bachelorette Party is the bride’s and all of her good friends’ last chance to enjoy a fun occasion together before she gets hitched. So, this will be one of the more fun pre-wedding events to plan for, and can range anywhere from casual and relaxed to wild and zany, the sky’s the limit. If you’re planning on hosting it at hotel; accommodations, transport, long-distance travel, entertainment, and invitations should be planned months in advance. As the maid of honor, you’ll be responsible for helping the bride plan this and for many of the events during the party including watching out for the bride. Have fun!