In Hollywood, there are artists that have earned fame through hard work, talent and by making smart career decisions. These artists have worked to master their craft and have been rewarded for their skills. These people are icons. They have ensured a steady steam of work as long as they want it because they have the talent and the drive to see any project through to the end. They deserve everything they’ve been blessed with… then there are the people on this list.
10: Rebecca Black
I’ve never heard Rebecca Black’s song. I don’t make a habit of listening to things I’m sure I won’t like. I don’t see the point. Apparently, the rest of the internet does. Anywho, Rebecca comes it at number ten for one simple reason – by the time I post this article, it’s quite possible her fifteen minutes will be over. Really though, is this whole phenomenon new? We’ve all seen it before – people who became more infamous than famous for being bad at whatever they’re trying to do. Jon and Kate did it with marriage and child rearing. William Hung did it with music. David Hasselhoff did it with acting, music and life in general. Sarah Palin did it with politics. It was amusing, then annoying and then they disappeared. Perhaps that’s wishful thinking with Palin and Hasselhoff.
09: Kourtney, Khloe and Kim Kardashian
The Kardashians turned a reality show and a sex tape into a multi-media empire and, hey, good for them. Come on, though – without that Kim and Ray J sex tape, they would’ve faded into oblivion right beside Jon and Kate Gosselin, the cast of “The Hills”, the cast of “Laguna Beach” and eventually, the cast of “Jersey Shore”. They’re at number eight because Kim has at least tried to turn her reality show ‘fame’ into something more lasting. Tried.
08: Michael Lohan
Michael Lohan is famous for having a famous child (Lindsay, of course) and capitalizing on his child’s fame – or infamy – every chance he gets. There was talk he was going to be doing a reality show with Jon Gosselin. Thankfully, that fell through and no one ever had to suffer through it. Michael is a sleazy, violent mess that should do himself, Lindsay and the world as a whole a favor and keep his mouth shut. And Michael – keep your damn hands to yourself. The only thing worse than a loud-mouth publicity whore piggybacking on his very troubled daughter’s fame is being a woman beating loud-mouth publicity whore piggybacking on his very troubled daughter’s fame. I’m not one to ‘blame the parents’ but look what Lindsay had to work with here. If you wanna know why Lindsay’s such a train wreck, look to the picture above.
07: The Teen Mom Cast
Nothing shows the often horrible consequences of teen pregnancy like giving a bunch of teen mothers their own show on MTV. This show especially bothers me because my best friend in high school got pregnant at 16. Things did not turn out well for her and she definitely didn’t get a fancy television career out of it. Have you heard how much these girls make? If they use it for their kids, than fantastic, but who actually believes they will? These girls shouldn’t be celebrities. Talk about sending the wrong message to younger generations. For the love of God, some of these girls wouldn’t know how to look after a baby if they had a detailed manual (with pictures) and took a ten week course. Those poor, poor kids. I haven’t seen that much white trash on television since “The Simple Life” was on the air.
06: Bristol Palin
Bristol Palin is famous for getting knocked up at eighteen while her mother, Sarah Palin, was a Vice Presidential candidate for the Republican Party – ya know, the party that’s all about good Christian values. She did “Dancing with the Stars” and nearly single handedly destroyed the show when she almost won. Far more talented contestants (Audrina Patridge, Rick Fox, Steve Warner and, most tragically, Brandy) went home in her place and many viewers vowed to never watch again. With that said, I actually like Bristol and I don’t think she actually wants to be famous. Even so, if your claim to fame is popping a baby out of your cooch and then shaking that cooch around on stage, you deserve a spot on this list. Octomom would’ve taken this spot if anyone actually still gave a crap about her.
05: Angelina Pivarnick
Angelina is famous for being so obnoxious that the “Jersey Shore” cast couldn’t stand her. The cast of “Jersey Shore” couldn’t stand her. How annoying, loud and detestable do you have to be to be loathed by the “Jersey Shore” kids? About as annoying, loud and detestable as Angelina. Her fate was sealed when she slapped Pauly D and made enemies of her last two friends in the house. Hey – Sammi is bad but at least not everyone despises her. Yet.
04: Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino
While some could argue the entire “Jersey Shore” cast belongs here, I’d say Mike deserves a spot the most. Mike is famous more for his abs than he is for the show. I actually considered putting “The Situation’s Abs” on the list instead of him, but they at least deserve a little attention. I like the guy and all, but he doesn’t make liking him easy. Evidence? Check out his ‘performance’ on “The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump”. Now that was a situation – an awkward and uncomfortable situation that really sped up the timer on his fifteen minutes of fame.
03: Charlie Sheen’s Goddesses
What are their names, again? Who cares. Winning? Nah – more like over it. Sure they’ve both done some things (porn and pot magazine covers) but the only reason the world gives a rat’s ass about them is because they’re degrading themselves by tag-teaming Charlie Sheen. If you think Charlie should be on this list, you don’t get the point of the list. The guy has, or maybe had, real talent. It’s a shame he’s decided to crazy that memory out of the minds of the general public, but I remember, Charlie. I’d like to see some of that talent again. Maybe someday if you survive.
02: Nicole Richie
Sure she hasn’t done much lately, but she, along with her former ‘bff’, are pioneers when it comes to being famous for no particular reason. I really like Nicole Richie, honestly, even though she still reminds me of that one really mean girl everyone knows in high school. For a while, I saw her as the chubbier, meaner Paris Hilton as evidenced by the entire “The Simple Life” series, but then Nicole changed. She had a baby, got married and seemingly settled down. She’s still famous for no reason other than being Lionel Richie’s daughter and being Paris Hilton’s most famous frenemy, so she gets a spot. Sorry Nicole.
01: Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton is famous because she’s rich, spoiled and kind of hot in a man-jawed sort of way. She has enormous feet and an even more enormous ego. What really put her on the map, though? Her night-vision sex tape. This is the only reason Nicole Richie is behind Paris on this list – well that and the fact that Paris is still out there somewhere fame-whoring it up while Nicole has settled in to a much less irritating lifestyle.
What do you folks think? Did I forget anyone? Do you think I’m wrong about anyone? And before any of you start, I considered putting Justin Beiber on here, but seriously – that little guy can really sing. As always, sharing is caring – if you like this list, share it with your friends on Facebook and Twitter and if you don’t – share it anyway and tell me why I suck in the comments below.