Listen Up Ladies! 10 Things You Should Never Do in a Relationship


As a woman, it disturbs me to see the wealth of bad advice on the internet for women in relationships. I once read an article that was supposedly about how to tell if your lover is cheating on you. It covered absolutely everything. If your lover wants less sex, he’s cheating. If your lover wants more sex, he’s cheating. No wonder men whine about women so much. I genuinely felt bad for any man in a relationship with a woman that believed anything written in that article.

'Happy Couple' by Jakob Montrasio.

This article is for all of those women out there who find themselves in failed relationship after failed relationship and can’t understand why. You’ve heard of ‘the rules’, I’m sure. These are the real rules – ten simple things to keep in mind if you want a happy relationship. Following these rules does not guarantee a happy relationship. If you’re in a relationship with a dick, nothing is going to make that relationship happy. This article merely helps you hang onto the good ones should you be lucky enough to find one.

The truth is the truth, whether you like it or not. (photo by ttarasiuk)

10: Never be offended by the truth.

The truth isn’t always easy to hear, but it’s something that’s needed in a successful relationship. If your man tells you you’re being crazy, take a step back and analyze the situation. If he’s being a jerk and you’re justified then maybe you need to give the status of the relationship some serious thought. If he’s right and you’re being crazy, then calm down. You need your man to be honest with you, but you also need to be honest with yourself. Look in the mirror and honestly ask yourself who is right.

Guys need guy time. (photo by Jennifer Woodard Maderazo)

09: Don’t get jealous over his friends.

Your man cannot spend every moment of his day with you and trust me, you wouldn’t like it if he could. He needs to have friends and a life outside of his relationship with you just as you need to have friends outside of your relationship with him. If he wanted to hang out with his boys and have a few drinks don’t get upset. Let him have that time. Female friends are a bit tricky because there is an almost instinctual desire to be jealous over the women in you guy’s life. Hang tight on this one, ladies. There’s a whole article on the way next week addressing this issue specifically.

'Sulking' by Ollie Crafoord.

08: Never start fights or sulk about nothing.

Feelings get hurt over silly things sometimes. Something may feel hugely insulting to you, but it may not actually a big deal. When you feel your temperature rising and you’re so angry you feel like you could burst, sit back and really look at the situation. This goes back to rule number 10, but it doesn’t have to get to the point that your man thinks you’re a lunatic.

Before you start shouting at your man about whatever the issue is, ask yourself if it’s really a big deal. Ask yourself if you think he honestly meant to offend you or hurt your feelings. Chances are, he didn’t. If that’s the case, starting a fight will do nothing but lead to more hurt feelings – for you and for him. Save your time and energy for when there’s a real problem to deal with.

Sulking can be just as bad. If your feelings are hurt tell him why your feelings are hurt. Don’t just expect him to know. It’s been said a million times and it remains true – men aren’t mind readers. You have got to learn to stand up for yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to start a fight. It means you have to tell him if something’s bothering you. Don’t raise your voice. Don’t get weepy and emotional. Tell him the problem and get his feedback. Listen to that feedback and work on a solution or compromise.

Be confident. Insecurity hurts relationships. (photo by kikir4802)

07: Never be needlessly insecure about his feelings.

Not one of us can say for sure than the person we are in a relationship really and truly loves us. We aren’t inside that other person’s head. We can’t feel what they feel. We can’t read their mind to know what they’re thinking. We go based on our feelings and an underlying trust that the words they speak are sincere and that the respect they treat us with is from the heart. With all that said, you need to believe the person you are in a relationship loves you. If the words are being said and the actions are there to back it up, you have no reason to question it. If the words are there but the actions aren’t, it’s time to think about a change.

'Smoking' by francoiskarm.

06: Never expect him to change for you.

Everyone has problems. With hard work and a genuine acknowledgement that change is needed, those problems can be addressed and fixed. The term once a cheater, always a cheater is bull. A tiger can change its stripes and a leopard can change its spots. Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Yes, of course – but the dog has to want to learn.

Men are not animals that can be trained. You can’t break them of a bad habit but rapping them on the nose with a newspaper. If your man has a bad habit when you start dating him, don’t fool yourself into thinking you’ll be able to break him of that habit. If he’s a smoker he’s going to continue to be a smoker unless he decides he wants to quit. Learn to deal with it or find someone else.

No man, woman or child is going to change just because you want them to. They change because they have the will and the determination to work to make that change for themselves or they don’t change at all.

Treat him like you would like to be treated. (photo by Craig Loftus)

05: Don’t treat him like trash and expect to be treated like treasure.

Strong relationships must be built on mutual respect. You need to treat your man like you want your man to treat you. If you fly off the handle over nothing, don’t get mad at him for doing the same. If you put him down and call him down to the lowest, don’t whine and cry if he returns the favor. You need to show him respect if you are going to demand respect and every woman in every relationship should always demand respect.

'Let Go' by Melanie Milliken.

04: Never hold a grudge.

Relationships aren’t easy because as human beings we’re capable of inflicting tremendous amounts of pain on the people we love with one bad decision. Cheating is the obvious answer here. If your man cheats on you and you genuinely believe he is sorry, it’s okay to stay with him, but you need to let it go. You need to try to find a way to trust him again.

Mistakes do happen and trusting someone who has cheated will be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do but if you believe your relationship is worth it, that’s exactly what you need to do. If you can’t find that trust again, that relationship needs to end.

If you choose to stay with someone who has cheated or you take back someone who has cheated, you need to let those hurt feelings go. This is something that needs to be worked on as a couple, but if you both want it to work, it can. Once the decision is made to continue and you’ve decided to put those feelings behind you, you need to stick to it. You can’t throw the cheating in your partner’s face months or years down the line.

Is a wedding important to you? (photo by Abbamouse)

03: Don’t get hung up on a ring and a piece of paper.

Don’t pressure your guy to get married if he doesn’t want to. Be honest about what you want out of the relationship and decide if his goals match your goals. If marriage is important to you but it’s not important to him, you need to make a tough call – stay or leave. You can’t browbeat someone into walking down the isle. It will breed resentment and will do nothing but hurt the relationship. If you’re happy in the relationship, ask yourself why a ring and a piece of paper is so important. You can be in a committed, loving and serious relationship without exchanging vows. If that ring is important to you though look for someone that is interested in the same thing. Just as forcing someone to get married can breed resentment, so can feeling your goals aren’t taken seriously. If you don’t want the same things and neither you nor your partner is willing to compromise, the relationship is in trouble.

Breakups are painful but sometimes necessary. (photo by Pedro Ribeiro Simões)

02: Never stay longer than you should.

If it is obvious that the relationship is not working then leave. It’s as simple as that. Change is scary. Being alone is scary. Being in a miserable relationship because you don’t have the guts to leave is worse than the uncertainty you might face if you leave. If you love him but don’t feel the way you used to and don’t want to leave because you don’t want to hurt him, be a woman and make your exit. It will be painful and it will be hard, but staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in is only going to hurt both of you in the long run.

You are who you are. (photo by Ashley Webb)

01: Never pretend you’re someone you’re not to try to make him happy.

The real you will always come out. If you want a long and happy relationship with the man, you need to let him know who you really are. From the littlest things like movies and music to the biggest things like your future goals and aspirations, he is in a relationship with you – make sure he knows who that is.

  • markmywords

    This is hilarious. You’re telling women “hey women if you do something wrong, stop doing it. If the man does something wrong, don’t get mad at him just let it go or break up with him but don’t show any emotion when you’re doing anything.” Please, get real. Men are the ones who pretend to be something they’re not. 

    In the beginning they are sweet, attentive, romantic and are the ones BEGGING for her attention. Once he receives the attention that he was asking for, all that he was pretending to be goes out the window and she reacts negatively towards him because of that. She holds on to him thinking one day he will return to the man she fell for but it never happens because it was just a trick.

    Men should stop tricking women into believing they are someone they are not. But somehow its the womans fault…it’s always the womans fault.

  • http://twitter.com/_chenault_ kitten

    I’m sorry, markmywords, but I disagree entirely. I’m not blaming anything on the women in relationships. Men screw up relationships just as much as women. I never once said in this article that anything is the woman’s fault. I am a woman and as a woman I’m smart enough to recognize that not all men are the demons your comment paints them to be. I also never said not to show any emotion. The problem that many women face in relationships is that they let their emotions get in the way of logic, reason and common sense. If you enter into a relationship with the attitude you’ve expressed in your comment, you’re going to be jealous, paranoid and suspicious. 
    With that said, this line in your comment really irked me, “She holds on to him thinking one day he will return to the man she fell for but it never happens because it was just a trick.” This is the kind of ridiculous thinking that gives women everywhere a bad name and it makes me genuinely angry which is why I wrote the article. Don’t sell yourself short and don’t take crap off of anyone – male or female. You deserve better than that. Don’t ‘hold on’ to someone who isn’t giving you the respect you deserve because you hope he’ll change. Get out of the relationship! Don’t let someone make you unhappy. That’s the point of the entire article and I’m sorry you seem to have missed that.
    What I was saying in the article, and it kills me a little inside that I have to state this, is that women need to stop being so paranoid, suspicious and jealous because other men in their life have wronged them If the guy you’re with has hurt you and you can’t forgive him then you need to end the relationship. It isn’t going to get better. If you can’t trust him and feel happy with him, the relationship is going to make you miserable and you’re making yourself miserable by staying in it. If you want to work it out and stay in the relationship then yes, you need to let it go or you’ll never be able to be happy. 
    Everything I wrote in this article was written from personal experience. I have been cheated on and it sucks the big one. It hurts. It makes you feel like less of a woman. I stayed with the men that cheated on me because I was scared of being alone and yes, because I thought they would change. Guess what? They didn’t change. When I met my husband, I had all of those scars still on my heart and I was jealous of everything he did because of that. When I finally let that go and realized that he wasn’t the same as those other guys, I was able to trust him and build a solid relationship with him. Was it my fault those other guys cheated on me? No! They were pigs. Was it my fault I nearly destroyed my relationship with my husband over unfounded jealousy? Yes. That one is on me. 

  • Anonymous

    You sound very upset with men, so I’d recommend you actually think about why men behave the way they do.  Women aren’t nearly as easy to deal with as you think they are–a man can’t just “be himself” to get and keep a woman, but instead has to act in ways that the woman responds to.  You call this a trick; but I’ve seen many good men who aren’t “good enough” to find a suitable woman until they start doing the things you’re now trashing them for.

    Yes, there are plenty of men who act phony…and plenty of women, too!  Men cope with the situation.  You should do the same.

  • Anonymous

    (The post above was in reply to markmywords.)

  • http://twitter.com/_chenault_ kitten

    Here’s the thing about this debate. One sex is not more phony or complicated than the other. Women seem to think men are nuts and men think women are nuts, but we’re not really that different. Women (and this is very generalized) often respond in a more emotional way then men. Men tend to hold their emotions in. That’s not always true, of course, but that’s generally how it works. The thing I’m trying so very hard to communicate in these articles is that people – man and woman alike – need to just calm down and think rationally. The posts are targeted as women because, well, I’m a woman and it makes more sense to write what I know. Everything I write about comes from personal experience (under the relationships category anyway). Jumping all over each others’ backs in here doesn’t help anyone, just like it doesn’t help anyone in a relationship. I’m not pro-woman and anti-man. I’m just pro-human being. I don’t think that’s a bad model to follow.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for your wonderful article and comments.  Your advice in the article is useful for men, too.  And I’ll keep in mind what you’ve said about how women respond–often in a more emotional way than men– and how all of us need to calm down and think rationally.  Your point is well taken.

    Just in case there’s any confusion, my earlier response was to markmywords, who (upon further thought) may be quite understandably upset with how certain men have treated her.  I got caught up in defending men, and did not say women are any more phony or difficult than men.  They’re not.

    By the way, I especially like points 10, 6, 4 and 1 in your article.  Point 10–”Never be offended by the truth”– is so much easier said than done, but it’s great advice for relationships and a lot of other areas in life.

  • Xcassyx

    I literally do almost all of those things and I have been happily married for 5 years

  • http://www.twitter.com/_chenault_ Wanda Fraser

    All the more power to you and your husband then. Typically things don’t work out that way.

  • http://www.twitter.com/_chenault_ Wanda Fraser

    You’re very right about number ten. It is a hard one to keep in mind. It’s one I often struggle with. As for getting caught up defending men, I can definitely understand. I did get that your response was intended for markmywords, but I felt like responding all the same. It’s only natural to want to stand up for yourself and your gender. I am a woman, obviously, but I really feel men get a raw deal. At the same time, women do too. I think it’s just as it is with so many other things. The bad apple spoils the bunch. The bad guys out there give everyone a bad name, just as the bad women do as well. I can understand a woman being angry at men after being screwed over. I’ve been there. That doesn’t make it right, but I can understand. I think markmywords was a bit harsh but I will never deny that I’ve said far worse things about men many times. A broken heart does not make for a wise mouth.

  • http://AlphaDogTheBook.com Kiai Kim

    Listen to this writer. She’s doing something right — she’s married. You want to attract a man who doesn’t pretend he’s something he’s not? Then swallow your pride and take the advice.

  • Lemo

    as well  as we as women dnt have to pretend to be who we are not men are also not expected to do it.lemogang mmolotsane

  • Lemo

    as well  as we as women dnt have to pretend to be who we are not men are also not expected to do it.lemogang mmolotsane

  • http://twitter.com/Talk2Q Q

    Great post.  Maybe markmywords should create a list for men.  Bitter much?  This list is from one point of view, so stop making it about men.  I have 33 cents that says she’s single.  Yeesh.

  • http://twitter.com/Talk2Q Q

    Great post.  Maybe markmywords should create a list for men.  Bitter much?  This list is from one point of view, so stop making it about men.  I have 33 cents that says she’s single.  Yeesh.

  • Tarryn Bicking

    I don’t agree with most of these.

    “Don’t be offended by the truth.”
    Really? Seriously? Heck no, I’m still going to get offended, I am a very proud female. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to listen to what he says though. If I’m being a complete B**** about something, I expect him to tell me so; doesn’t mean I won’t be offended.

    “Don’t get jealous over his friends.”
    Right, so if he spends more time with them, I can’t be jealous? Uh uh, out. FYI there’s only certain times that I’ll get jealous, say if we already had plans made to do something together and I’ve been really looking forward to it then suddenly he wants to hang with his buds? No. You can hang tomorrow, today is my day.

    “Never start fights or sulk about nothing.”
    So you’d rather I’d hide my emotions. Even my husband would disagree with this. If there’s something wrong, even if it’s over nothing, both of us want to know so we can try and change it. More often than not that reason you thought was “nothing” could be a combination of things that have been gnawing at the back of your mind.
    Both of us end up starting fights, we have tempers. That doesn’t mean our marriage is dysfunctional. We argue, calm down, apologize, and talk about what set us off. Btw, we always tell each other we love one another, even in a heated argument.

    “Never be needlessly insecure about his feelings.”
    Huh, so I’m never allowed to question his feelings for me? Or him of me? WRONG!
    We both have these thoughts, we’ve both been hurt by people we trusted. On top of this, my husband is in a job field that requires him to be away from me for long periods of time (up to a year if need be) and go for weeks to months of no contact. We both start to feel insecure at some point and we express it whenever it occurs, even if we’re together. Why? Because we APPRECIATE one another and know exactly what we would lose should one of us choose to leave.

    “Never expect him to change for you.”
    This one I don’t necessarily disagree with, but I will say change is inevitable. I never once told my husband to change, but I would tell him I wish he wouldn’t get so jealous all the time.
    When I say jealous, I’m not talking about him getting a little upset because I was talking to a guy. No no no, that would’ve been too easy. I’m talking about relationships with my guy friends being severely affected from a close relationship to a distant one and being yelled at and argued with because of things I did with an ex even though he’s the only other person I’ve had a physical relationship with. His jealousy was so bad, he would start arguments if my one of my friends even bought me lunch. So, of course I expected him to change, in time though. And, in time, he has. A push in the right direction can result in a change.

    Lastly:

    “Never hold a grudge.”
    No. If I’m not over something he’s done, I’m simply not over it. I’m proud and stubborn; pushing me to “let it go” sooner than I want to only makes it worse. That doesn’t mean I’m always going to express anger or disappointment to him. I’ll get over it when I get over it. Granted, if he did something bad enough for me to hold a grudge, something’s amiss.

    ————————-
    All in all what may work for my marriage, may not apply to someone else’s relationship. Honestly, my husband and I have discovered that the stereotypes for a typical husband and wife actually do not apply to us in -any- way. Almost the complete opposite even. I digress. This isn’t a bad article just not for me.

  • Sabrina

    Sure, it’s always the woman’s fault and the men don’t have to do nothing? Please. I hate women who kiss up to men like the way this writer does!  That thing about the ring and the piece of paper? WTF? What if marriage is important to the woman…is she supposed to LIE about this and waste years in a relationship pretending it doesn’t matter while her heart breaks in a million pieces? Screw that!  I say if the woman wants marriage she should be up front about. Better the guy walk away at the start than waste precious time while he strings you along!

  • Sabrina

    So now because someone is MARRIED they are superior and have more credibility? Give me an effin’ break! If anything I’d say because she’s married she’s out of touch with the single world and has no clue what’s she’s talking about!!!

  • Sabrina

    Mark my words is right on the money. So why are some of you calling them a man hater? Seems to me some of you can’t handle the truth about MEN, but yet you can trash women all you want and that’s ok?  Humph. If you ask me, men and women alike should ignore dumbassed articles about relationships of any stripe and try something really novel…actually TALK to each other and be direct. No dumb games, no manipulations, no whining.  What’s so difficult about that? This media generated battle of the sexes is the real problem…and the writers need to mind their own business ans top being so self righteous. Their marriages are probably crappy ones anway…

  • Sabrina

    and all women are paranoid, bipolar etc? Please there are men who are in prison now because they were so paranoid etc they stalked, beat and killed women! 

  • Sabrina

    Really? Sounds to me like you’re blaming your wife, and not taking any responsibility yourself.. 

  • Sabrina

    Thank you.

  • Sabrina

    Oh really? are you quite sure of that? or are you just pretending little miss Stepford wife? I’ll bet your husband is cheating…LOL

  • Sabrina

    Right on!

  • Sabrina

    and what’s wrong with being single? Just because a woman is married doesn’t mean she’s perfect or gets it right. Why do you think so many married men cheat? Better to be single than in a sham marriage where people pretend it’s perfect when it’s anything but.

  • http://AlphaDogTheBook.com WingGirlKim

    Actually, no, Sabrina. Just because someone is married doesn’t mean she is superior. But, being married and under legal binding contract with someone does give a person experience, and for that it’s only fair to listen the writer’s perspective. Just try it, especially if your way isn’t working. Doing the same thing over and over again, getting nowhere, and continuing to do the same thing is, by Einstein’s philosophy, insanity.

  • http://AlphaDogTheBook.com WingGirlKim

    Here’s a question: How comfortable are you with yourself? If a person feels that he or she needs to lie, yell, or get physically violent, that person is not comfortable with one’s self. As a happily single-by-choice 40 year old woman, I have to sometimes eat my own words and apologize for being brutally honest. Because my personality is naturally insensitive (Myers-Briggs type ENTP), I have to be careful how I come across to others. But I’m comfortable with myself enough to put my foot in my mouth (and end up apologizing!). However, it’s better to be respectfully honest, which I strive to be. People appreciate a respectful honesty. Having control over our behaviors and knowing how to show people respect comes down to understanding which thought functions in ourselves are dominant and which are inferior. (This is the topic of my next book, Heel Your Inner Bitch.)

  • Anonymous

    There are women who’ve done the same, Sabrina. All women aren’t paranoid or bi polar. Not all men are stalkers and rapists. To claim otherwise – regardless of gender – is just childish and petty. If you are a woman and you think all men are evil, you need to either grow up or let go of a whole lot of anger. If you are a man and you think all women are crazy, I’d give you the exact same advice.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for responding, Sabrina. If you actually read the article, you’d know the underlying theme of the entire thing is to do exactly what you said – TALK. Be honest. Be open. Don’t hide things but it’s also important to remember that when two people are being honest with each other, feelings are going to be hurt. You need to be able to accept that and you need to be able to look at yourself honestly and figure out if what your partner is saying is true. If you’re overreacting to something, you need to recognize that. No one is going to want to be honest with you if you break down every time someone tries to tell you something you don’t want to hear but hey – they goes just as much for men. If a man flies off the handle every time you try to tell him the truth then he needs to recognize the fact that you’re being honest. People need to be willing to work together to make a relationship work. 

    I don’t think markmywords is a man hater. I think she’s probably been hurt and her response is perfectly logical. I think the battle of the sexes is bull. Women are every bit as strong as men. There are just a whole lot of women out there that don’t seem to understand that.With that said, if you’re with someone and they’re making you feel worthless, you can’t allow that to continue. You need to stand up for yourself. No one has the right to make you feel like you’re nothing. 

    Finally, thank you, but my marriage is just fine. As for the self righteous shot, well, it’s my job to write stuff down and that’s what I do. I wrote this article based on my own personal experiences and the experiences of my friends. For a long time I made the same mistakes over and over again. Relationship after relationship ended. I decided to make a change for myself and the change in my relationship came about as a result. Many of my friends are still making the same mistakes over and over again – either wasting their time on men that aren’t nearly good enough for them or getting so scared that the new person their with is going to hurt them that they don’t give them any freedom. I shared the article because I thought it might help people but I want to make this clear – I’m not okay with anyone implying that I trash women. I find that offensive in the worst possible way.

  • Anonymous

    I am the only married woman in my circle of friends. I wrote this article with them in mind. I see them making the same mistakes over and over again. Being on the outside, I have a unique perspective and I thought I could offer helpful advice. I, however, do not claim to be superior to anyone. Give ME an effin’ break. We’re all people – men and women alike. Women are no better than men and men are no better than women. Don’t like the advice? Cool. Don’t take it. You could meet someone tomorrow and live happily ever after. Maybe you’re already perfectly happy with the person you’re with. That doesn’t mean I have no credibility. It just means I have a different perspective. That’s what life’s all about. 

  • Anonymous

    Wow – here I am responding to your comments like you actually read the article when clearly you didn’t. I clearly stated that IF marriage is important you need to find someone who wants to get married. I specifically stated that you should be honest about what you want. I’m done responding to someone who can’t take two minutes to read a paragraph before they hit up the comments section and freak out. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NF7ZLXMSWUGEISWZE5ZILDGG4E Dannilda

    I really enjoyed reading your article. I think it is very clear, everything you say make sense and gives a different perspective compared to all these articles out there that tell women to just be helpless “princess” and wait for men to come save us. I think a lot of the people reading this article are misunderstanding little things. I consider myself to be a feminist, therefore, most of the time I choose women’s side. However, it is for us (women) to also understand that we DO get upset over little things sometimes, and not realize. Also, many times I see how many women try to change their personalities according to what they thing will make their significant other “happy.” We shouldn’t, a significant other got into a relationship with  you because of who you are, not for who should be!. And last, very often, some women act as if they are princess, expecting full respect from other, especially from men, however, they act as if they have more value than any other human being, not giving back respect. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_NF7ZLXMSWUGEISWZE5ZILDGG4E Dannilda

    I really enjoyed reading your article. I think it is very clear, everything you say make sense and gives a different perspective compared to all these articles out there that tell women to just be helpless “princess” and wait for men to come save us. I think a lot of the people reading this article are misunderstanding little things. I consider myself to be a feminist, therefore, most of the time I choose women’s side. However, it is for us (women) to also understand that we DO get upset over little things sometimes, and not realize. Also, many times I see how many women try to change their personalities according to what they thing will make their significant other “happy.” We shouldn’t, a significant other got into a relationship with  you because of who you are, not for who should be!. And last, very often, some women act as if they are princess, expecting full respect from other, especially from men, however, they act as if they have more value than any other human being, not giving back respect. 

  • Nicole

    this crap was clearly written by a guy

  • Kerry_six

    hi

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/WR3YOTDVQYE7TO6DGSDPYTTTK4 Hal

    Wanda is one savvy women. Where is my fish called Wanda? I’m still looking for her, and it’s not at plentyoffish that I can find! LOL! Anyway, right on Wanda! Yes, 110% both ways, and things may work out if compatible. healthysnackmoms

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/WR3YOTDVQYE7TO6DGSDPYTTTK4 Hal

     Hey markmywords, sounds like you didn’t read the article and you have issues, so there you go.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/WR3YOTDVQYE7TO6DGSDPYTTTK4 Hal

    Hey calling all women, this is a guy speaking and you should listen very carefully. Whether the guy uses the “bad boy” approach or the “nice guy” approach on you, and tells you everything you want to  hear, the bottom line for 100% of the guys is the end result; to get your panties off. Plain and simple, whether he wants to marry you is a whole different matter. Chaio. Hal2012

  • salim

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    This was so outragious, that i have to do something about. i searched heavens and earth but there was absolute nothing i could do to bring him home, because he went far to another city and started staying with his friend.
    So i was going online then i met some many comment about a spell caster with this email address, “$$@gmail.com” on how he reunite broken home, and so many things.
    I was forced to contacted him and tell him my issues. (this was just 2weeks go).
    The spell caster guaranteed me that he is going to cast a spell and my husband will have his former job back and get a promotion, and also he will tighten our love to make us more united.
    At first i was affraid, but i had to give him the go ahead and in just 1week after the spell cast, things started happening.

    My husband came home with a letter from his company that he has been paid for damages, and he has been promoted to resume office with an immediate effect.
    can any one imagine that!!!!
    this spell caster made my family a success and i can never forget him.
    his email is $$$@gmail.com,
    salim.

  • Emily Hollingsworth

    Does he make you happy?
    Does he treat you fairly ?
    Does he love you back?
    Does he show that he loves you?
    Is it just sex?
    Women and Men are playing the game of love so it seems. I am nineteen years old and surprisingly I have a lot of experience with dating guys. Women are attracted to the guys that treat them badly Cameron treated me so well when we were first together and now he can be completely mean and belittles me at every chance he gets. But the fact of the matter is he doesn’t love me. No matter what I do that isn’t going to change that, so the real question you should ask is how do I know if he loves me or not instead of do’s and don’ts of relationships. I believe that every relationship has it’s owns rules, it has it’s own good qualities and bad, and most importantly it gives both couples the opportunity to mature and grow into finding what they want in a possible mate/partner.  Emilylynhollie

  • Illuminant

    you’re an egoistic dimwitted cunt. that’s why you fail in your life. don’t drag others’ down.

  • Illuminant

    you’re an egoistic dimwitted cunt. that’s why you fail in your life. don’t drag others’ down.

  • Illuminant

    that can’t be further from real-life truths.

  • Illuminant

    ..and that’s why you’re both FOREVER ALONE. too egoistic.

  • Illuminant

    because you’re a pompous vain idiot

  • Illuminant

    someone from the “proper” side of the evolution tree. thank goodness. this planet may yet thrive with good people.

  • Illuminant

    Ahh..yes, foot in my mouth, something I could relate to.

    I’m ENFJ, what do you think? let’s write a book!

  • Illuminant

    Haaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahahahha… 

    Nice reply, Wanda ma’am.
    That’s why they’re forever alone, too bigoted, stuck up pompous narcissists. I think the word is “bimbo”..

    Anyway, came upon this by accident. Seemed like an interesting list to read; for the most part, they’re relevant to me and my significant other.

  • Illuminant

    I shared the sentiment. 

    I find these princessy types repugnant and they always end up being passed on around like sex buffet and end up old and single. So much for being “right” and “deserving the good stuff” all the time. complains and whines about pretty much everything, 1st world country problems kind of things.
    nothing is more attractive than humility and a kind heart. a nice smile would definitely “melt the heart”. i don’t need the typical “fashion magazine” whores to be my partner. that’s advertising fallacy.

  • Illuminant

    THat’s why you’re FOREVER ALONE.

  • Illuminant

    Dimwitted bimbo idiot.

    Nothing suggests that “ooooh… it’s always women’s fault”.Freakin psycho. Get a life instead of munching on your 10-pound burger on the couch – and put out that cigarette. 

  • http://AlphaDogTheBook.com WingGirlKim

    Hmm. I don’t think I would want to work with someone who openly uses 4-letter words on forums like this. I might use the word “bitch”, but I try not to call anyone a bitch, except in jest. I try not to judge.

  • Illuminant

    That’s not fair, that’s a 5-lettered word!
    Nonetheless, apologies for my careless choice of words if any. 
    There are no hard and fast rules on these sort of things (relationships). It’s all down to self-realization of how we function and react to things in and around ourselves.
    Some people’s “head”(s) requires some meddling with to trigger that process; to detract and self-reflect, like the title of your aptly named book ” Heel Your Inner Bitch”, but it seems that not all are endowed with such intelligence. They would just retaliate to win a medal or something – they can’t even see the flaw in that retaliatory action itself.
    Have great day!

  • Illuminant

    That’s not fair, that’s a 5-lettered word!
    Nonetheless, apologies for my careless choice of words if any. 
    There are no hard and fast rules on these sort of things (relationships). It’s all down to self-realization of how we function and react to things in and around ourselves.
    Some people’s “head”(s) requires some meddling with to trigger that process; to detract and self-reflect, like the title of your aptly named book ” Heel Your Inner Bitch”, but it seems that not all are endowed with such intelligence. They would just retaliate to win a medal or something – they can’t even see the flaw in that retaliatory action itself.
    Have great day!

  • Heatherisme1983

    I have been hurt in the past as well as my let’s say lover. We would have been perfect together, if we didn’t have all of that negativity lying on our heart.  It is hard to not be afraid that our past will come to haunt us once again.  He feels the same way as do I,… but maybe a bit harsher.  He was married before and his wife walked out.  He took those vows seriously. Now, I have to prove I will stay.  I have tried to walk away, but truth is…. is he is my best friend. As I am his.  Something that takes a lifetime to find.  I gave him a ring that said 4ever always Heather… he wears it on a necklace. And, so while I am on a path to a better future and he is on a path to a better future, we do it in hopes that someday we can provide for our family.  He has two children, I have one and one on the way with him.  But, we have to have a big enough house and enough money to support five kids, and that’s what we are working towards. Till then, I will enjoy living at home, saving money, raising my girls,  and finishing school.  And talking to him on the phone, and seeing him when we have time. Because when it’s all said and done, if it’s meant to be it will be. I finally have a reason to believe in myself, and someone who believes in me also.  No one else ever gave me that courage, and I almost settled for a peon job and lost my scholarly knowledge.  Because for each year of school I didn’t attend I felt dumb.  I had to check and recheck that what I was telling someone was correct. We all are human, and we all make mistakes… sometimes you have to give them an ultimatum, and back off, and things will fall where they are supposed to for the time being.  I know that no matter what happens, he and I will be friends. And there is no relationship that can withstand life, without being built on friendship first!!!

  • Laura2121

    I want to share this testimony for what Dr Great has done in my life. My
    life was so out of place earlier this year since my boy-friend of 4
    years left me. It was a rough road for me and felt like giving up, but I
    am so happy I found Dr Great. He helped me get my man back and my man
    is help paying some of my bills for me. When we got back together it
    felt so right. I’m telling you people that thegreatoracletemple@gmail.com spell is the best I’ve seen thus far… Julia

  • MJ

    Thank you.

  • aaasssddd2012

    A man will change for a girl if she wants him to, I used to smoke a pack a day for 3 years but I quit completely once she asked me to, I also quit marijuana because she asked me to. But thats my ex as of 3 weeks ago. Aye first love right? But all im saying is a man CAN change for a woman if he wants her to be happy. Not every guys the same, so dont label them as

  • aaasssddd2012

    A man will change for a girl if she wants him to, I used to smoke a pack a day for 3 years but I quit completely once she asked me to, I also quit marijuana because she asked me to. But thats my ex as of 3 weeks ago. Aye first love right? But all im saying is a man CAN change for a woman if he wants her to be happy. Not every guys the same, so dont label them as

  • http://www.facebook.com/TamiRoberson Tamera FishelRoberson

    Well, hate to back her up, but I’ve been down that road too. So if you don’t like what she’s saying, dont read it. Same rules above apply to anything you do.

  • foldgers

    this advice is bull shit. try telling and teaching men how to be decent to women.. tired of all the advice on how to hold on to a guy. dont need that.. i seem to attract possessive types. men need to know how to treat women.

  • Hans Hallman

    Others’ down what?

  • http://www.facebook.com/mlperry90 Michael Lakieth Perry

    obviously both sexes contribute to the horrible divorce rate, but i do agree that a persons faults make them unique and some of the things she is saying in this article should be practiced like 1,2,3,5,6,7,and 10, 8 is a human reaction that is necessary, 9 is kind of necessary, how will he or she know what you do and dont like..i would replace 1 and 7 with be open and honest and not afraid to communicate and actually listen for the reason to improve a relationship not through games but honesty and healthy communication.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mlperry90 Michael Lakieth Perry

    i will say that women are more likely to be paranoid or bi polar, they are more vulnerable and have more to lose, men can be too, but most are not as paranoid as women.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mlperry90 Michael Lakieth Perry

    for everything you just said, women in the past and present have done worse than a man..invalid point.

  • sarah

    sarah

    My name is sarah and my ex-boyfriend dumped me 8 months ago after I caught him of having an affair with someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don’t know what to do, so I visited the INTERNET for help and I saw a testimony on how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problems to him….. he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my peter came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Moko spell caster, you are truly talented and gifted contact his email:dr.kokotemple@gmail.com

  • Maria A Thompson

    I had my long distance relationship for almost 4 years now, Our
    relationship was okay and good, but for some reasons I couldn’t understand
    My ex boyfriend broke up with me for almost 3 weeks now, and it me sad,
    frustrated, devastated having mix emotions to face the reality that he
    doesn’t want to work it out anymore, I dint know what else to do until i
    search and bumped into this testimonies regarding Love spell and i read
    some of those who had the same problem i had and until i found Dr. Alex who
    can cast spell to bring your partner back at first i was hesitant to do so
    but eventually i tried his power to cast spell bring back your partner
    back because of his kind hearted, generosity He did Help me and i am so
    happy about it. Thank you so much Dr. Alex you May contact him here (
    solutionhelpcentre@gmail.com) or call him on +2347036013351

  • virgina

    I want to say thanks to DR Lawrence for bringing back my lover to me , my husband said he want to divorce me for him to get married to another woman after we have been together for 3 years, few days for us to go and divorce, i saw some body testifying of what a spell caster have done for her so i decided to give a try and when i contacted him , he said that he can get him back for me’ the third day my husband stop the divorce and now we are together for good if you are in any type of problem in your relationship contact him via email: drlawrencespelltemple@hotmail.com

  • bernille

    i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Zuma zuk for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr Zuma zuk casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Zuma zuk for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact spiritualherbalisthealers@gmail.com. and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

  • Maria A Thompson

    I have just found the right one and the greatest spell caster on earth who has brought back my happiness and turned my world around by helping me get my ex partner and helped me get back my life cause i was totally frustrated after 6years of hardship and pain, a friend of mine buzz me on my email saying i should cheer up cause solution has come. At first i was like what are you saying, then she mentioned the name ‘EBOEHI’ and i must thank my savior Great DR EBOEHI who has play a very vital part of my life making me a great person and the most happiest person today you are a great man who is bless by powers with traditional healing spell caster, after Great DR EBOEHI has help me get my ex back he also help me recover what i have lost in past years i must thank him (Great DR EBOEHI) the life he has restored back for me and my happiness. Now i am doing well in my work and also with my partner, Great DR EBOEHI is a very great spell caster you need to know just meet him and with your problem and it will be over.. Email him via: (supernaturalspelltemple@gmail.com),,,

  • Henry Westwood

    I was been suffering hardshiply from HIV/AIDS since 9yrs now, and i happen to have 2 kids for my husband, and now we cannot proceed to have another kids all because of my disease and now i have do all what a human like i and my husband can do just to get my disease healed, i have went to several places to seek for help not even one person could ever help, until i melt a comment on the daily news paper that was commented by Miss Marilyn about how this powerful traditional doctor help her get cured of the disease (HIV-AIDS) ” my fellow beloved” i firstly taught having a help from a spiritual traditional healer was a wrong idea, but i think of these, will i continue to stress on these disease all day when i have someone to help me save my life?” so i gather all my faiths and put in all interest to contact him through his Email address at agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com , so after i have mailed him of helping get my disease cured, i respond to me fast as possible that i should not be afraid, that he is a truthful and powerful doctor which i firstly claimed him to be. So after all set has been done, he promise me that i will be healed but on a condition that i provide him some items and obeyed all his oracle said. I did all by accepting his oracolous fact and only to see that the following week dr agumagu me on my mail box that my work is successfully done with his powers, i was first shocked and later arise to be the happiest woman on earth after i have concluded my final test on the hospital by my doctor that i am now HIV- Negative. My papers for check are with me and now i am happy and glad for his miraculous help and power. With these i must to everyone who might seek for any help, either for HIV cure or much more to contact him now at these following email now, Email: agumaguspelltemple@gmail.com