Does He Like Me? 10 Signs the Feelings are Mutual

How much easier were things when we were kids? We weren’t worried about money because money had no meaning to us. Our parents did their best to give us what we needed and boy, didn’t we take that for granted. Summer vacation was something to look for – two months with nothing to do but have fun and be young. If you wanted to know if a boy liked you, you simply had to get your friend to give him a note that read, “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” How innocent and sweet!

The charm of youth. source: Chris Masters)

Things are decidedly more difficult as adults. Trying to decode what the man in your life is telling you can be difficult and it’s easy to misread signals. Things that seem bad aren’t always bad. Things that seem good aren’t always good. Should you continue to pursue him or are you chasing a fantasy? Here are ten signs that the object of your affection is into you like you’re into him.

He notices things your other friends don’t. (source:

10: He notices little things about you.

Perhaps he notices when you do something different with your hair. Perhaps he just notices that you smile a particular way when you find something funny that’s different from the way you smile when you’re just being polite. He might notice the little subtle differences in your mood – when you’re happy instead of just okay or when you’re feeling a little under the weather. If you’re friends don’t notice, but he does – there’s a good chance he’s into you.

He is creative with his compliments. (source: Robert McDonald)

09: He compliments things other people don’t compliment.

Let’s say you have a nice body and people are always complimenting that body. If the object of your affection drops a compliment about your eyes or your hair, you’ll definitely notice. Chances are, he knows you have a nice body but is he trying to find a way to set himself apart from the other guys that offer compliments. Maybe he compliments an idea you have or a certain choice of words. If he compliments your mind, he appreciates who you are inside and not just out.

He makes a real effort to see you. (source: Toshimasa Ishibashi)

08: He goes out of his way to talk to you.

Sure he might stop and chat if he sees you in the grocery store or at a bar, but does he go out of his way to talk to you? Does he call you? Does he visit at work? Anything that requires extra effort on his part to get a little of your time can be considered going out of his way to talk to you. The further out of his way he’ll go, the more into you he likely is. This doesn’t count if he always asks about your best friend or your sister. He might be seeking you out for a whole other reason.

Phone calls ‘just because’. (source: Nerissa’s Ring)

07: He calls you on a regular basis just to talk.

There’s plenty of guys out there who’ll call you to hang out. We call those guys friends. If the object of your affection calls you up to just chit chat without any real clear purpose, he likes hearing your voice and he misses having you around enough to call you up. If he’s calling to discuss problems all the time, you’re just a friend, but if he just wants to talk about what you’re up to and what he’s up to without asking anything of you or getting into a phone therapy session, he’s probably into you.

He thinks everyone should treat you like a princess. (source: The Hudson Family)

06: He gets angry or upset with how other people treat you.

If someone is harassing you, threatening you, or beating you around, your friends are going to be upset no matter what. Heck, I don’t know most of you reading this, and I’m upset for you. What you’re looking for here is a guy that gets upset if someone isn’t treating you up to his standards. If he thinks you deserve to be treated like a queen, there’s a pretty good chance your affection is reciprocated.

Little thoughtful gifts for no reason mean he thinks about you. (source: Ken’s Oven)

05: He buys you thoughtful little gifts for no reason.

He doesn’t have to lavish you with expensive gifts of gold and diamonds to let his intentions be known. If he’s out somewhere and sees a little something that makes him think of you and he actually picks it up for you and offers it as a random gift, you probably have an admirer. If he does this for all of his friends, he’s probably just a generous kind of guy. Vacation, birthday or Christmas presents don’t count unless it’s something way out of the ordinary that no guy would give a girl he thinks of as ‘just a friend’. Consult your other friends on this one.

Affectionate touching is a good sign. (source: Mike Baird)

04: He touches you in an affectionate but not sexual way.

Don’t take a guy grabbing your caboose as a sign he wants to settle down with you. If he’s grabbing your bum but you’re not sure he’s interested in you in a romantic way, it’s pretty safe to assume he wanted to do something with you, but that likely doesn’t include a wedding ring or anything even close to that. If you’re looking for a fling, then go for it. All the more power to you. If the object of your affection’s content with putting his arm around you, touching your hands and maybe even brushing your hair out of your face, there is a very good chance that he likes you in more than a friendly sort of way.

He wants to look his best when he sees you. (source: Christian Mairitsh)

03: He dresses up to spend time with you.

We’re not talking suits and ties here, ladies – at least not exclusively. More than that though, don’t assume he isn’t into you if he doesn’t dress up. Some guys are just t-shirt and jeans kind of guys. My husband is. He didn’t even wear a suit to our wedding and I love that about him. This more refers to a guy that normally takes a more relaxed approach to their appearance who suddenly seems to be paying a little more attention to it. If he’s brushing his hair when he’s more of a messy hair kinda guy there’s a good chance he’s into you.

He wants to be able to talk to you about what you like talking about. (source: Hugo Chisholm)

02: He takes a special interest in things you’re interested in.

Do you like music? Does the object of your affection suddenly want to know more about music? There’s a good chance he’s into you. If he’s brushing up on the bands you’re interested in (the same can be said for movies, books, sports etc), he wants to have something he can talk to you about. Take this as a definite good sign – especially if he starts recommending things to you. It doesn’t matter if its something you’ve heard of. It’s the thought that counts. He’s trying to find common ground – not something many people will do with people they just consider friends.

He really hears what you’re saying. (source: Simon James)

01: He really listens when you talk, even if you’re not saying much.

If you’re telling a long, rambling story (come on, we’ve all done it. I even make a living doing it) but he is hanging on every word, there is a more than decent chance he’s interested in more than friendship. Listening shows that he’s interested in what you have to say; not just waiting for your turn to talk. How much he listens is a pretty good indication of how interested he is. If your talking about buying toothpaste and he is reacting like it’s the most wildly enthralling story he’s heard since you bought deodorant, he’s definitely into you – way into you.



If you’ve been reading over this list saying, “He’s done that” and “He does that all the time”, stop worrying about whether or not he likes you. He clearly does. Get the ball rolling. Let him know you like him too. You don’t have to wait for him to make his move. Tell him you’re interested and let things progress from there.


  1. Someone please help me!! I really like this guy and I thought he liked me because a couple days ago this guy named Justin went up to him and asked him if he would ever date me and ur said yea maybe and I didnt even know he was doing it I found out the next day. But I asked my friend Robbie to go up to him and ask him if he likes me and he said no, only as a friend. People always thought that he liked me because he always teases me and calls me ugly and always sits beside me and stfu like that but I was going to ask him out but now I’m to scared and I don’t want to risk our friendship!!!! Does he like me or not? Why is he saying yes to dating but no to liking me!! PLEASE HELP ME!!

  2. Hi Sarah,
    He could be saying no to liking you and yes to dating you because other people are doing the asking for you. While it’s always scary to get involved with a friend because of the risk of losing that friendship, if you really like him, taking a chance and asking if he’s interested in you could be worth it. Besides, are you sure your friend Robbie was telling you the truth? Maybe Robbie likes you and didn’t want you to know the guy you’re interested in is interested in you too. As scary as it is, it’s usually a better idea to find out where you stand with someone on your own. If he likes you, you could have something special. If he doesn’t you at least know that you tried. That will mean a lot to you one day. It’s much better than knowing you didn’t even give it a chance. 

  3. Ok, i’m head over heels for Branden, and its like one minute hes hot and the next hes cold. For a while he would call more and stop by my house more. Than like a storm out of no where it stops. I don’t ever get a call returned, I wont see him but maybe once a week sometimes once a month.  I figured he might have found some other girl. No big deal, right. I mean it’s not like we where married. Than he changes it up again. He calling me and wanting to see me. He actually shows up when he says hes on his way. I’m hooked all over again. Not like II ever got un hooked. I try not to tell him to much about how  I feel. I don’t want to make him feel like i’m pressuring him.  than the worst thing possible, the very worst. I found out I was pregnant. I told him as soon as I thought it might be a reality. I went and took a test, negative. Ok that’s good, right, or so I thought. Ladies a word of wisdom. Trust your body, your the only one who really knows what is what. Long story short I can’t carry full term. How I didn’t know I was that far along is a mystery. I still had my monthly visitor. I told him as soon as I could. I tryd to talk to him on the phone but he interrupted me, saying he would be coming over very soon. A week later i finally seen him. He always has this calm, cool about him. He is very funny and witty. But when I finished telling him, its almost like he was angry. He would just look at the wall. I asked him if he was mad. He said no. I am in no position to have a baby. I agreed, but still his actions say he was upset. Maybe because he thought i had kept it from him intentional.  Which, truly was not the case. Now its back to the not talking to me or stopping by. We never really did hang out with the same people, and he lives with his ex-girlfriend. whom he says he needs to move away from. We have talked about things.  You know like where are we in life and or opinions. Am i……. dare I say it…. a boody call and I just wont face the music as its playing. He has asked me to just be patent, this is not an unreasonable request. Considering personally I have a few things that prevent me from being able to fully commit myself to a relationship. Baggage, we both have it. I dont know what to do with my self. I have never felt like this before. I dont want to run him off. Please help…. Cassandra  

  4. I hate to admit it but it sounds to me like you many have been a booty call, even if he wanted it to be something more as much as you did. Relationships can be complicated. Sometimes two people can want the same thing but just aren’t able to get it together and work toward the same thing together. It sounds like the guy cared about you but perhaps things weren’t over with his ex as much as he was telling you they were. That would leave him pretty conflicted. Instead of confessing the truth to you and letting you decide what to do from there, he may have tried to back off entirely, making you feel like he didn’t care. 

    Speaking from experience, a guy coming around all the time then backing off only to start coming around again usually indicated feelings are there but so is conflict. Unfortunately it might also indicate a sudden attack of morals. If he was using you for a booty call saw that you were getting emotionally invested in what was happening and backed off because what he was doing wasn’t fair to you. Coming back around though definitely indicates he has feelings for you though – just perhaps not strong enough to defeat whatever conflict he’s having that’s keeping him from pursuing you entirely. 

    My advice? Don’t wait for him anymore. It’s so much easier said than done. I spent two years pining away for my ex before I finally moved on. We all have baggage but it’s how we carry it that determines how ready we are for a relationship. I would suggest really getting to know who you are as a person and figuring out how to be okay on your own before this guy – or someone like him – puts you in this position again. Good luck!

  5. I can’t tell if this one guy likes me just as a friend or more! We don’t have any classes together, but we ride the bus everyday. In the mornings we’ll talk a bit and I’ll catch him looking over his seat back at me, we both then smile at each other. In the afternoons he usually is waiting outside for me at the bus and has me sit by him. We talk a lot, but don’t have each other’s phone number or anything like that. He baked me some cookies for Valintimes day, and on the bus has taken lately to tickling me. My friends think he likes me, I don’t know.

  6. My best suggestion is to exchange phone numbers and just give him a call sometime. He might just be looking for a friend but from the way you describe it, it sounds like more than that. Just try a phone call or two first and see how it goes. If things seem to be going well, ask him to spend time with you outside of school. I’m not sure how old you are, but maybe you could ask him to a movie or ask him over to your house to hang out there.

  7. Hi, Lilydee! Thanks for reading. Sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner but I’ve been a bit swamped. As for your situation, I’ve found myself in positions similar to one you’ve described – a few times, actually. It’s a tough situation for sure. The hardest part is that if you have a hunch the feelings on your friend’s part are more than friendship, you’re probably right. You have a few options: try to ignore it, talk to him about it or try to stop spending time with him. If you just stop spending time with him, you’re already screwing up the friendship. If you try to ignore it, things could go two ways – get worse or get better. I would recommend perhaps not talking to him but taking a very gentle approach. Perhaps just let him know that you love and appreciate him as a friend and wouldn’t trade his friendship for anything but that you’re happy in your relationship with your boyfriend. If he respects you, he’ll respect that. There are two friends in particular I can think of that I’ve been in this position with and they’re still two of my closest friends to this day. I hope that helps and sorry again for the late delay.

  8. That is definitely a confusing situation. The fact that he’s been interested in other girls makes it seem like he may consider you a friend and nothing more but it’s also possible he just didn’t know you were interested at the time. You mentioned that he stopped texting the girl he was interested in to see if she would text back. You could try to stop calling him to see if he’ll call you but in all honesty, it sounds like he would whether he’s interested in your romantically or not. You didn’t really say whether or not you told him how you feel when you asked him about the rumors about him liking you on Skype. I would suggest coming clean about your feelings and letting him know that you are interested in him but make sure you’re ready for the answer. It might not be the one you’re looking for but at least you’ll know one way or the other. 

  9. I told the guy I’m currently interested in that I have feelings for him, but he stealthily re-arranged his wording as to where it came out without him stating his feelings back to me… it’s been two weeks already, and mostly nothing (except for a few things now… like how his eyes kind of go all soft when I look up at him… and how his voice gets all gentle) has really changed. 

    Is he afraid to hurt my feelings?

  10. whaif he says to your friends he ssees you like a sister but in his heart he still has feelings for you like he likes you?

  11. there is a guy i recently started walking with him and my cousin. my cousin and him were friends first. when we walk around sometimes he talks to only me. today we were walking around and he talked to my cousin. i ended up getting bored so i just ditched them. when they showed up again the first thing the guy said was “Im sorry for what i did to make you walk away.” i didnt quite understand what he meannt. he is a really nice guy and there are so many times that my cousin says we totally would work out and should get together but its hard to actually believe her. im not sure he actually likes me but im a shy person and dont like asking like extremely shy…if you dont understand how shy it is so shy i am always afraid of saying something bad. help!

    1. Say ur name 10x
    2. Say ur mom’s name 5x
    3. Say ur crushes name 3x
    4. then paste this to 4 other quizs, if you do this your crush will kiss you on the nearest friday! But if you read this and did not paste this, then you will have very bad luck and ur dad might lose his job

  13. Hi 🙂 So I have a guy friend who I’ve known since November. We started off very strongly (physical attraction, kissing) but now I feel like I am in the friend zone. When we’re out together with mutual friends, all his guy friends ask him if it’s ok to date/ask me out. I’ve been told he says yes in a “way that means she’s off limits”. What does that even mean? lol

    We became very emotionally intimate around Memorial Day when he shared the fact that his father passed away a few years ago on that day and he really needed someone to be with him and we literally read the obituary together.

    So there’s emotional connection, physical attraction..yet this is the birthday “text” I get from him yesterday.

    “Happy Birthday Lisa!!! I’m very happy I have gotten to know you; I think you are such a wonderful person!!!  I hope this is your best year yet!

    Damn, I can’t even hate him if I wanted to! I don’t wanna fall into that “reliable girl” category so I am trying to maintain some distance.

    Not sure how to approach this matter. Help!

  14.  what will i have done if not for ultimate spell.i want to say thank you very much for the time you took with me in helping me to get my ex back who break up with me 5 months ago because we have a little misunderstanding and i was in need to get him back which i met this spell caster online who cast a love spell for me which i use in getting back my ex and now we are about to get married.i am so happy is the only answer to all your problems you can contact him only him can help.

  15.  what will i have done if not for ultimate spell.i want to say thank you very much for the time you took with me in helping me to get my ex back who break up with me 5 months ago because we have a little misunderstanding and i was in need to get him back which i met this spell caster online who cast a love spell for me which i use in getting back my ex and now we are about to get married.i am so happy is the only answer to all your problems you can contact him only him can help.

  16. Dear Wanda,

    I have guy friend who I’ve liked for a while now. But lately, my friend has been getting into my business. I texted her one day and said “Yeah I think he’s cute,” so now, she’s getting his number, messaging him over Facebook, trying to hang out with him (without me), etc. Honestly, it gets really annoying because she’s my best friend and I’d do anything for her, whereas she is trying to force him between us. This past week, my guy friend and I haven’t talked. We see each other practically every weekend, because our younger brothers play on the same basketball team. I’m really worried that my friend told him something that I wanted kept secret. She’s done this before, loads of times even. I’m just confused and I don’t know what to do. Help, please?

  17.  He doesn’t feel the same way about you (or at least not yet) but doesn’t want to sound offensive or harsh. He’s letting you down easy. Your best bet would be to move on. It blows, but letting go earlier on is MUCH better than stringing yourself along any more than you already have. You’ll only get hurt deeper. Hope this helps.

  18.  My name is Diana I am from United States, I was I a relationship with Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2012 a day I can call a lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a guy that is asking me out for a date but I refused, and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love Ben very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring heart…i am testifying to this great spell caster AYELALA SHRINE. if you need his help you can contact him on ***

  19. Hi.
    Well im not a “woman” Im just a 15 year old girl who has a crush on a guy who she only has known for 3-4 days.Anyway he sometimes call me fat,ugly,stupid but all in a jockingly way,he sometimes touches me like pinching my cheek or putting his arm around me,But he says that he’s with a different girl every night…What should I do??!

  20. Got this guy who is my friend and cares about me a lot wouldn’t want nothing to happen to me, he’s not much of a phone person, but anyways he’s out of town and his brother was saying how much he missed me and wants to come over and say hi. Does this mean he cares as friends, or more than friends?

  21. There’s this guy at school and he asked me out before and i said no because i was so nervous and now i think he hates me but i am really desperate, i had some had pretty strange dreams about him and every time he passes
    down the hallway i get goose bumps and butterfly’s what should i do?Should i go and ask him out or…

  22. Dear Wanda,

    I’ve met this wonderful boy, about 2 months ago. Sometimes I think that I’m
    over thinking about this boy. We go to the same classes. We chat over the
    phone, sometimes a lot but sometimes we skip the days. I’ve caught him a few
    times starring at me, and every time I look back (to him), he’s looking
    straight into my eyes and smiled. Sometimes he starts randomly a convo over the
    phone (text), but during class. I’m having a hard time telling if he’s doing
    that because he’s interested in me, or just because he bored. I guess I like
    him, but I’m afraid of the rejection I’d get if he’s not interested. Lately he doesn’t seem so interested because he’s having a family issue. How can I
    tell if he really likes me? Or maybe I’m just a good friend?

  23. I’m 19 and there’s this guy who I’ve met a few times while I was hanging out with my college friend. He’s 18 and in person he’s flirted a little like asking where I was going to sleep while at my friends house (he was sleeping there too) and giving me attention and whatnot. Then all of a sudden over the internet (like twitter and fb, although we arent friends on fb, we’re in a same group) he started harassing me and calling me a variety of swear words and he does it non stop. But he has said things like “admit you want me, I know it.” and stuff and I can’t tell if he is interested and just calls me names to get my attention or what? (the name calling doesnt rly bother me, but he just does it ALL the time.)

  24. heyy im a young girl, ive been talking to this guys over a year weve been best friends, but he had a gf and i held back feelings for him a few month ago we both admittedwe liked eachother, yet he stayed with her me finding this hard i would bring it up and startedgetting upset but hed say if he broke up with her shed ruin our relationship after so he has to let her get over him slowly, he said he didnt have any sexual relationship with her and hardly went to see her ever hes ditch her for me at weekends, yet i started to get annoyed and said maybe i should move on. which he didnt like and told me i was being silly he dosent like her as much as he does me, lately we finnaly decided to move on but i think weve been finding it hard we still talk and are pretty close until a few days ago we spent the weekend mostly together hugging and touching eachother (non sexual) was just playing witheachothers hands and leg touching.. this all happend without plan and i dont think we were thinking and i brought it up saying im now finding it hard to move on, now hes telling me hell just avoid the palces i go now to make it easier for me.. im confused as we still talk but not as much as we used to i dont know whether he still likes me and is just trying to move on or if hes unsure too, im getting mixed signals off him its like he cant control his feelings around me and thats maybe why hes decided his decision, but we also live quite far away and i see him when im at my mums friends at some weekends soo im not sure if hes being weird because of distance and he used to always talk about being scared of being alone, he lost his dad at a young age and findsit hard to trust or open up, i also think maybe he is trying with his gf and i dont want to get in the way of it as long as hes happy, its just i dont know what to do i feel lost and hurt ??

  25. I have really strong feelings for my best friend! I think he likes me back, he’s always asking what music I like and always talks to me and once he even offered me to drive HIS car!! OMG! Is this normal? Could someone please help me!!

  26. Dear Wanda,

    I have this friend I’ve known since 4th grade. We’re both freshmen in high school now and I still really like him. I’ll always come back to liking him. And at camp he ditched his large group of friends to hang out with Tierra, Katie, and me. He sat across from me and we talked. He even stayed with us, listening and talking to me, when his friends left. We just talked about movies and how they weren’t like the books, but he listened. He sat with me at church once or twice, he joked with me then and laughed at my jokes. But I don’t know if he likes me.

    One of my good new friends said she liked him so I lied and said I liked this guy who’s in ROTC. But I really like Jacob and I think I might actually love him but I don’t know. I know I like him more than she does but I’m not gonna tell her that. Too awkward.

    But I really wanna be the one he likes, the one he wants. Please help!! Does he like me? What do I do?

  27. Hi my name is meg. I have a guy friend I still like n he isnt interested in me at all. He said we are just friend. He likes other girls in the church but always ask my opinion. How do I get out of the friend zone n know that I could b an option. He said maybe in e few yrs . But I dont want to b a back up . Help please

  28. Dear Wenda,
    I met a guy when i was on holiday for a week, and he works and lives in that area.
    he was working where we were staying which was an hour and a half away from where i live, and he was the first one to talk asking how long i was there for and if i liked it there. After 2 days i kept bumping into him and we would have little conversations and i joked and said that i kept bumping into him to which he replied that it didn’t matter because he liked me. In addition to this, he would always make an effort to slightly touch my bum or hips or rest his hand on my arm or hand before he left or while talking. On the third day of talking i asked if he had Facebook so we could keep in contact when i left and he said he didn’t but he had a phone and said that we could write each others numbers down.
    When i went to give him mine he said he didn’t have time to do his but he promised he would text me but he didn’t and was off work the next day, which was the day before I left. On the day i was leaving he was back at work and apologised that he hadn’t text because he had family issues which was also the reason why he wasn’t in work and said he would text me later. He also hugged me once when i said i was leaving and two other times after, and during the conversation, we found out there was a 7 year age gap between us which doesn’t bother me, and didn’t seem to bother him as he carried on the conversation.
    However, it has now been a week since i left and he still hasn’t text and at first i put it down to family issues and working but with it being a week now, i don’t think he was that interested as he would have text by now, but he seemed like a genuine guy and even introduced me to his colleagues at work. Any advice? Or could it be because of the distance or age gap? since i haven’t got his number, i cant text him.