What is the essential difference between a parent and a good parent? Is unconditional and immeasurable love the only precursor to being good parents? Or is it the amount of money that is being spent by the parents for the upbringing of their kid???
Being a parent is by no means an easy task, but being a good parent is one of the biggest challenges faced by people these days. It is definitely not the lack of love for one’s children that is the cause for people often failing at this responsibility termed “parenthood”. All the animals on earth give birth and fend for their offspring. It is an innate reaction. They nurture the young ones and protect them until they are deemed fit to survive on their own. It is this natural behavior that even human beings exhibit when they protect and care for their children. Since children are the future of each family, and moreover the world as such, there is nothing more precious than the well being of children and their proper care. But effective parenting is not just about the love or the money spent. What also matters to a great extent is how everyday situations are tackled and how informed the parents are.
One of the most important duties of a parent is to teach their kids about the value of money and to make sure that they have a good grasp on how to handle affairs related to money. The first and the foremost thing in this regard is to give them a fixed allowance at regular intervals. This is needed in order to inculcate among the kids the habit of budgeting, saving and most importantly decision-making. It is necessary to make sure that only appropriate amounts of money are given as allowance to the children. It should also be ensured that they get a thorough understanding of the importance of saving the extra cash left with them. As they grow older, instead of giving them an allowance, they should be encouraged to take up part time jobs and earn their own pocket money. But above all, it is mandatory that the parents themselves handle money affairs well and set good examples for their kids.
It is the responsibility of the parents to mold their children to be efficient adults, with morals, ethics and values. At the same time, it should be noted that it is not the job of the parents to make decisions for their kids. Of course, till they are old enough to make rational and sensible judgments on their own, it is necessary that parents make all the decisions. But once that age is over, it is of great importance that kids be entrusted with the responsibility of decision making so that they find their own footing in the society. It is often seen that a lot of parents micromanage their child’s life and make all of the decisions, thereby failing to teach him or her, the process of decision-making and its importance in life.
Often it is seen that parents face a lot of stress and strain to make sure their kids turn out to be “perfect”. It is the dream of every parent to see their ward getting good grades, get into the right college doing a good course, and marry the right person and so on. All this is stemmed out from a false sense of competition that is prevalent in the society. In the developed countries, for decades now, parents choose college they hope their child will attend in future even when the child is just in the pre-school. Such eccentric expectations can have adverse effects on a child’s self-esteem. By spoon feeding a child, a parent is only inhibiting their attempts to learn to do things by themselves. One of the negative effects of being overprotective is that parents unwittingly give out the message to their kids that they are devoid of the ability to handle things by themselves. According to study recently conducted, it was observed that, teens have fewer falls, tumbles and injuries when left to play by themselves than with parents constantly blurting out warning and cautioning them.
As a child grows older, most often, he or she does not consider parental protectiveness a result of love or concern. Rather, they consider it as a lack of trust in their judgment. Such micromanagement will definitely back fire as children fail to be independent and even their career will be affected. Even in the society, such a person will be considered as a liability and will never be tolerated. Another mistake that the parents make is to force their dreams on their children thereby taking away their dreams and aspirations and talents. There are many cases where students become doctors or engineers or scientists only because their parents wanted them to. When parents decide everything and force their dreams on their children, they are crushing their child’s inherent sense of life.
Parents have to keep in their minds that they have taught their kids the important lessons of life including how to decide what is right and what is wrong. Now they have to believe in their child and that eventually good choices will be made. In order for any lesson to sink in, it is necessary to learn from one’s mistakes and hence, adolescents have to make mistakes in order to learn the essential lessons in life properly. Parents should understand that parenting is not aimed at bringing out a perfect commodity that can be marketed, but to rear kids in such a manner that they turn out to be sensitive, creative and confident individuals.
