Jealousy can be considered the most serious disease of a couple, especially when it registers an acute stage. Till the desperate situations, jealousy appears daily in smaller or larger scale. When is the jealousy beneficial for a relationship and when it becomes a concern?
The term of jealousy does not correspond to the dictionary definition, because each understands the notion in his way. Some may become jealous from a simple view of his partner to a foreign person, and for others, jealousy occurs only in extreme cases, when they are cheated, for example.
It comes to a classification of jealousy depending on the intensity that it involves. So we meet these types:
Jealousy which lasts just a moment
Appears in some cases, depending on the individuals involved and the background of the relationship in general. It may be higher or may occur rarely, but in any case as quickly it appears as quickly it disappears. A member of the couple notices a certain look or action of the other directed toward a third person, which bothers him now. Tension vanishes in moments. “The jealous” finds out that the person in question was an acquaintance or, after a discussion, the mate explains him that he has no reason to worry. Things return to normal and the day flows normally.
The necessary jealousy
Couple life specialists, psychologists and even people involved in a relationship believe that jealousy is sometimes necessary, by the mere fact that sustains the interest of both partners. Without jealousy, without fear of losing the other and without heated discussion at times, a couple may fall into monotony or at least, sine you do not care about each other, the relationship between the two partners is cooling.
So do not get scared when your boyfriend criticizes your relative interest to other male persons. As long as things do not degenerate into violent fights, enjoy that he loves you, that he want you next to him and that he is afraid not to lose you. Sometimes jealousy is your best friend, because it brings you together and consolidates the relationship …
Obsessive jealousy
This type of jealousy affects both partners. Already here we can’t talk about love anymore, about the desire of exclusivity and passion. Unfortunately, it reaches to an obsession that grinds slowly, but surely that relationship. The lack of mutual trust between the partners degenerates most often in separation or even violence. “The jealous” feels like he doesn’t have air while the other person is not near him. It comes to infidelity scenarios and grotesque exaggeration for a simple look on the eyebrows.
When the man is jealous, the woman may become the victim of his obsession. It comes soon to violence and frequent quarrels. Couple life is no longer pleasant and beneficial, but turns into an ordeal.
How do I get rid of jealousy?
Whether you’re the one who suffer from jealousy or your partner is jealous, you must be aware that an exaggerated form of this feeling will just only destroy the relationship. If you want to save it, try to follow some advice.
1. Learn from past experiences
Whether you experienced this before or you saw the other couples cases, realize that jealousy gone to extremes can affect the relationship and even your life. Rather than step curl again, resolve the existing conflict before it ends abruptly.
2. Find a middle way
You need balance in the relationship. You must not accept infidelity, but nor exaggerate any thing. Be realistic and stop lights on every word that your lover says to other women. You live in society and not isolated on an island, so be prepared to accept that your partner will be permanently surrounded by women, as you have males around you: at the job, in the group of friends, or in the neighbors.
3. Always ask an objective person
If you feel that you can not handle alone such a situation, always ask a trusted friend. Ask him to be objective and to come with you in different moments when you are together with your partner and to follow the reactions and way you are. You might be surprised when you find that you are the one who exaggerate or, on the contrary, have a friend who forgot about you and who prefers to be in the company of other women. In any case, an outside look might help you see things from a different perspective.
4. Communicate
Rather than observe situations and issues that you do not agree and hold the anger inside you, you would better talk to your partner on a calm voice and explain him what bothers you. Even if he will not give you explanations and will not change, at least he will know what you think and, in time, you can make him talk more with you on such matters.
Hidden frustrations and thoughts only gradually destroy your relationship. You can wake up in a critical moment that will not take it and you want to put the point of a relationship that could be saved if you have been more honest with one another.
5. Set some rules
If you do not like him to go out with other people without you and he does not like your friends from childhood, try to establish some rules that each one respects, depending on the other’s requirements. But be careful not to exaggerate, because everyone has lifetime friends and activities which existed until the moment you know.
If, however, you don’t manage to bypass such problems and jealousy becomes a constant in your relationship, try to judge things clear. You really love him? You can trust him? You wish to continue? If you already feel that the relationship has cooled and that the situation is too complicated, it would be better to go on separate ways. It’s better this way than to transform a relationship, which is supposed to be a source of pleasant feelings, in a source of frustration.
