Confidence is often understood as an outward thing. Expressed in the way we dress or behave, carry ourselves or talk. But true confidence; the type that is not dented or bruised by the opinion or behavior of others, goes a lot deeper than clothing or superficial things.
The type of confidence many woman are looking for, simply cannot be found in the quick purchase of a new dress or handbag. Whilst these ‘quick fixes’ may make us feel attractive or stylish, this type of confidence is fleeting and in order to maintain it you have to keep whipping out your credit card and doing more of the same.
So what are the ways that we can become more confident in our lives, but more importantly, what are the ways that we can maintain that confidence?
Below you will find a list of guaranteed confidence builders and some proactive steps you can take to start living with more confidence in your life on a daily basis.
1. Stop being your own worst enemy
How do you speak about yourself, or more importantly ‘to’ yourself? If you are anything like me, I bet you’ll find you can be incredibly unkind in the way you speak to yourself. I’m talking about the harsh words and unfair criticisms we say to ourselves when we look in the mirror and see that despite our deeo desire, we don’t look like a supermodel.
“ Your fat, you have big nose, your bum is huge”. Sound familiar?
If you find yourself having this type of negative internal dialogue with yourself, you need to stop right now.
Take action now:
Change the record. Every time you find yourself speaking unkind words to yourself, stop yourself dead in your tracks and find something complimentary to say about yourself. This will be hard to start off with as you’re so used to saying uncomplimentary things, but don’t move until you can find something nice to say about yourself.
2. Stop comparing yourself to your friends, celebrities and random women on the street
There is only one YOU and the day you realise that there is nothing wrong with you and that you’re fantastic, exactly as you are, will be not only a wonderful but truly life changing day. As women, the temptation to constantly compare ourselves to other woman can sometimes be overwhelming. And at times it can seem like every woman in the world is more: beautiful, talented, successful or in a better relationship than us.
The reality is that this is not the case, and what’s even sadder, is how much time we spend comparing ourselves to women who often feel the same negative way about themselves, as we do!
Take action now:
Make a commitment to being simply’ the best you’. Acknowledge your special beauty, unique talents and stop wasting time better spent enjoying those qaulities, by constantly comparing yourself to air brushed images of celebrities. If you need to stop buying celeb magaziness in order to do this, then do so; treat yourself with the money you save to a nice spa treatment or two..your worth it.
3. People only treat you the way you let them
If you find there are people in your life that don’t treat you with the level of respect and appreciation that you deserve, it may be time to sever ties with those people. Despite our best intentions, we sometimes can’t help but be affected by the harsh words or treatment of others, especially if it’s coming from people that we love or respect.
The sooner that you realise that people only ‘treat you the way that you let them’, the sooner you will start to insist that the people in your life behave in a way that validates them being there.
Take action now:
If these people are family members this could be hard, but you can limit contact with them, or even better; tell them how the way the treat you makes you feel. If this lack of respect is coming from within your relationship or friendships, then it’s time to have a heart to heart and let them know that treating you or talking to you in this way in unacceptable, and has to stop.
If it doesn’t stop, kick the offending person to the curb. They don’t deserve to hang out with someone as amazing as you.
4. Get active and look after yourself
This is not about being a size 6 and working out in the gym obsessively; this is about being healthy, vital and in optimum condition. Even if you would like a body that is different to the one currently have, the only way this can be achieved, is by appreciating and caring for the body you have now.
Take action now:
Find something that is active and you enjoy doing and include it into your daily routine. This may be hard to establish in the beginning especially if you are not used to regular exercise, so start gently and increase your level of activity as your fitness improves. The most important thing is to find something, or even better, a few things, which you will stick to.
5. Treat yourself to experiences and not “things”
This may sound a little odd but when I explain where I’m coming from, I’m sure you’ll understand. Treating yourself to things is easy; you know what you like, so you get your purse out and make the purchase. But when you treat yourself to ‘experience’s, you get out of your comfort zone and get to try things you have never done before. It’s a win win situation as when you realise just how capable and adaptable you really are, you’ll feel far more confident.
Take action now:
Whatever that ‘thing’ is that you have been dreaming about doing for years, decide that this will be the year you actually make it happen. Write yourself a list of all the things you would like to experience in life and make a commitment to working through the list.
That feeling of ticking experiences off the list is very satisfying and will fill you with a sense of confidence and achievement far more enduring than a new dress bought in the sales.
If you have any other suggestions of ways that we can increase our confidence, then add them to the comments. Like I said in my post: 6 Essential Ingredients To Every Successful Relationship, confidence is super sexy!
So try these action points and start living with more confidence in your life today
