Knowing what’s going on in a relationship can be difficult when the rules of the relationship haven’t been clearly defined. Knowing you’re his girlfriend or if you’re just his booty call might not always be clear. Sometimes the truth is obvious but we choose not to see it because we want to believe we have more than what we actually have with someone we care about. Let’s be honest though – some girls are fine with being a booty call. Girls have needs just like guys do. If you’re not okay with being a booty call though, here are a five signs to watch out for. Now, I’m not saying your guy is definitely using you as a booty call if he does the five things on this list. I’m just saying it might be time to have the ‘what are we doing’ talk if he does – if only for your own peace of mind.
05: He won’t introduce you to his friends.
This one can be a bit tricky, ladies, so be careful not to jump to conclusions. There are actually a lot of reasons a guy might not introduce you to his friends. He might think you won’t be interested in what he does with his friends. Maybe they like to sit around, drink beer and play video games. He might not invite you along because he thinks you’ll be bored. He also might be a little bit embarrassed about his friends. He’s probably known them for a while and has grown to love their quirks but he might not be convinced you’ll love those quirks quite as much. If you decide to bring up the lack of introduction, take a gentle, non-confrontational approach. Don’t accuse him of hiding you. Just mention you’d like to meet his friends sometime and suggest some sort of casual get together. He might not go for it but on its own, a lack of friend introduction doesn’t make you a booty call. It is troublesome but not enough to really worry about – unless, of course, your guy does other things on this list as well.
04: He doesn’t take you out in public.
This is another difficult one. Sometimes a guy just likes staying at home. Even so, a few public dates – coffee, a movie, dinner etc – are generally part of a relationship. If he seems uncomfortable about taking you out in public, there may be a problem. Keep things casual. Ask him out for a coffee date sometime you know he’ll be free. Ask him if he’d like to go see a movie with you and choose one you know he’s interested in seeing. Keep your man’s financial situation in mind. If he doesn’t have a lot of spending money, he probably isn’t keen on spending cash on frivolous things. He also might not want you to have to foot the bill. For a lot of men, that’s a mark against their pride. If that’s the case, suggest going for a walk, checking out an art gallery (if he’s interested in such things) or doing something else that won’t cost money.
03: He is overly secretive about his life.
Okay, he isn’t interested in introducing you to his friends and he doesn’t seem to want to go out on public dates with you. It’s time to start wondering if there might be something going on. If you’ve tried talking to him about his life outside of your relationship and he seems reluctant to share anything about that life, you might have reason to be concerned. If he doesn’t want you to know where he works, where he lives or anything about his life, you might not just be a booty call – you may be the other woman. Now, it’s important to remember some people just aren’t open about themselves but if you want a relationship with this person, he has to open up eventually. Getting to know each other is an important part of any relationship and that becomes very difficult to do if you’re not sharing information with each other.
02: He doesn’t just spend time with you.
Sex is an important part of any romantic relationship but if that’s all you do, maybe you’re not really in a relationship. You should also talk, watch movies and just generally enjoy each other’s company. If he’s already taking his clothes off moments after he arrives and is leaving as soon as the clothes are back on, you might have a problem, unless, of course, sex is all you’re looking for. I’m of the opinion that there’s nothing wrong with that but if you have feelings for the guy and want a real relationship, you might need to have a little conversation about what he feels your relationship actually is and where he sees it going. You don’t have to be headed for the alter but it might be a good idea to make sure you’re at least monogamous and that your relationship isn’t just bound to the bedroom.
01: He only calls late at night.
If he works odd shifts that put him to bed in the day and up at night, you can ignore this one. He’s probably just calling you when he has the time to call you. If you can’t see a reasonable explanation for the late night only calls, you might have cause for concern. This is especially true if he is only calling you after he’s been out with friends and has had a drink or two. You may not only be his booty call – you may be the last resort booty call. If you’re not sure, ask him what’s going on. You might not like the answer you get but it will be better than not knowing at all. I know it may not feel like that at the time but if he’s just using you, you really are better off moving on and trying to find someone that will give you the respect you deserve.
